And Then There Was One….

The roller-coaster of IVF continues.

When I arrived to my transfer yesterday, I was informed that one of my two frozen embryos didn't survive the thaw, so we'd have only one to transfer.

ONE.

I was devastated. And all alone with the matter-of-fact nurse.

I fought with my emotions as my instinct was to break down and cry, but I'd read so many articles showing that LAUGHTER post transfer actually increased the odds of pregnancy success, so I tried my best to hold my s*** together. I mourned the fact that twins would no longer be a possibility (a crazy thought I know, but still one that was fun to consider), and that our overall odds had likely just decreased.

So now it comes down to our one lone survivor. Of the 17 eggs retrieved, of the 9 that fertilized, of the 2 that made it to freeze, we have ONE little fighter. It was my day 7 blastocyst that had completely hatched… the one that swooped in last minute on day 7 to fill my heart with hope and joy in the midst of an overall crazy IVF process.

Keep fighting little one… please, please, PLEASE keep fighting!

Frozen Embryo Transfer

Tomorrow I will have my first ever frozen embryo transfer (FET).

I had my lining check Tuesday, blood work Wednesday, and thankfully all looked great toward moving forward with the transfer.

We are going to transfer both of the embryos we have, which gives us roughly a 30% chance of pregnancy (per my doctor). I am aware that this also means there is a 70% chance this won't work….but my doctor reassured me that even healthy fertile couples only have a 10% chance monthly of conceiving, so 30% is actually pretty good. I'll take it!

In addition to all of the hormone prep (2x/day estrogen, now 2x/day Crinone) I've been pulling in all of my frou-frou community to sparkle up the baby energy. One promising omen: two of the clairvoyant ladies I talk to on occasion each said- no joke- upon first seeing me: 'are you pregnant?' The energy is definitely there. The desire is DEFINITELY there. So come on little one(s), we are so ready for you!

One interesting catch? BC leaves today for a week long business trip to The Netherlands and will be gone when the transfer actually happens. With the miracle of modern medicine our next child might be conceived while he is literally a world away. Go figure!

Our family also has a strange pattern that when one life ends, another often comes into being. We lost my dear, sweet grandmother (Nani) on Friday. It was a huge loss for our family, and very interesting timing with the FET. I'm hoping Nani & the little spirit coming to us are communing now, celebrating the life that was and the life that will be. That image comforts me greatly, and I am praying even more that things take tomorrow to bring some much needed JOY to our family.

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers in the upcoming weeks… we are SO hoping this.is it!

Iyla and Nani's first meeting- love at first sight! 

We love you so much Nani- your presence here will be greatly missed, but always felt and celebrated.