Early to Bed....

There's a saying I see over and over again in the baby sleep books that generally goes like this:

Early to bed, late to rise.

Meaning: the earlier you put your baby to bed, the later they will sleep- the thought being that if you put your kid to bed too late they'll be overtired and sleep more poorly.

For over a month now I've noticed that Eloise tends to start rubbing her eyes around 6:15-6:30, and wondered if a 6:30 bedtime was what she was needing.

The baby books are also quick to point out that:

If your baby is already rubbing her eyes you are TOO LATE! You need to put her down before the first sleepy signs begin.

So: we starting experimenting with putting Eloise to bed around 6:15-6:30.

And you know what? If you put your kid to bed at 6:30, then nurse her at midnight AND at 5am, she MIGHT just sleep until 6:45! OR... just as likely- decide to start her day around 5:45am.

Early morning coffee date after a 5:45am wakeup

Hence, I call bulls*** on the baby books.

This sleep training apparently goes both ways, and Eloise is now schooling us.

She's decided that yes, OK, she will go down easily at night and self soothe when placed in her crib. This looks like her immediately putting her thumb in her mouth (no more pacifiers in bed!) and rolling side to side over and over and over and over, essentially rocking herself to sleep. She also miraculously moves herself from one end of the crib to the other; I always lay her down with her head at the top of the crib, and by the end of her rolling, she is all the way at the foot of the crib with her feet against the slats.

Rocking to sleep

So: that part is great and we now have a bona fide self-soother.

BUT: this self soother is pretty determined to eat TWO times/night, and won't hear of it any other way. As evidenced last night with a stand off at 4:45am which resulted in 45 minutes of crying until we finally caved and fed her (having also just fed her at 1am!).

Also? This kid goes to bed JUST FINE when super tired! We can intentionally keep her awake a good 30-60 minutes after the eye rubbing begins, and she'll still happily and quickly pass out for the night.

Hence no more 6:30 bedtimes, as those are hard for us schedule wise AND seem to be telling her little system that a 5:45- 6am wake-up is OK (and who can blame her? That's an almost 12 hour stretch!). I much prefer working toward a 7-7 or 7:30-7:30 sleep cycle, and will see what comes of that.

For now, this determined little lady has us trained to STILL FEED HER 2X/NIGHT, thank you very much. Not quite what I was going for with the sleep training, but alas, it is still MUCH better than what we had going on before said training began.

Stay tuned....

You thought YOU called the shots?

Updates on Sleep Training

Last night was night #5 of sleep training Eloise.

 Never underestimate the ability of these creatures to learn

Overall things are going well, and she is quickly getting the hang of the new nap/bedtime routine. One thing that's been really tough is that by day Eloise has been extra fussy and clingy since we've started the training. I'm not sure if it's because her little system is getting used to the changes OR if it's because my Wonder Weeks app has her smack in the midst of the next big perceptual Mental Leap #5: The World of Relationships. It's hard to think it might be due to the changes at hand, but that doesn't negate the GOOD that these changes are making for her and for our family.

Here's a summary of our 1st 5 days of training:

Day #1:
7:07pm to bed, 7:14-7:28 crying (14 minutes)
11:30-11:33pm crying (3 minutes)
11:50-12:15 crying/complaining (nursed)
1:10-1:50 crying (40 minutes)
2:40-3:10 crying (30 minutes)
7:30- up for the day

Day #2:
7:22pm to bed, 7:34-7:37 crying (4 minutes)
6:30am- up for the day (SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT!)

This was also the first day I napped her for her afternoon nap in the crib (vs on top of me). I followed the exact same routine as for night sleep:
11:22 down for nap, 11:24 -11:28 cried (then asleep!)
12:10-12:14 awoke complaining and found thumb, back asleep
1:15 up!

Day #3:
7:30ish to bed (starting this night there was no more crying at bedtime; sometimes a little complaining ensued at the very end of our last song, but once I laid her down she was quiet!)
5am awoke - nursed
7:20 up for the day
(did both morning and afternoon naps in her bed! Afternoon was way off b/c she'd fallen asleep in her swing and Iyla also awoke her).

Day #4:
7:30ish to bed
11:50pm awoke (?!) I think NYE fireworks were the culprit. Decided to go nurse.
5am awoke. THIS ONE WAS HARD- as I opted to let her cry it out vs go in a 2nd time. I'm not sure how long she cried, but she eventually went back to sleep.
7:30 up for the day.

That 5am crying was really hard on me, as I felt responsible for 'training" her little system that around that time she'd be fed (based on the past few days). I spent much time re-reading my sleep training books, and trying to decide if I was to do one night feeding would it be 12am or 5am? Ultimately- I decided from all my research and reading that at Eloise's age she is capable of not eating through the night, and I think one time/night is more confusing to her than helpful (very different than with Iyla, who would always nurse 1x/night at any random time and then sleep through until the morning until she dropped the night feed around one year old).

So: I decided from now on we'd do full extinction, no night nursings.

Which brings us to Night #5 (last night):
7pm asleep in bed
4:20 awoke crying (10 min)
6:20 up for the day

I am so proud of Eloise, and frankly, of myself for getting up the gumption to follow through with this. The HARDEST part is just getting the guts to DO IT, and then sticking to it no matter what. Admittedly I'm already missing the coziness of having her nap on my chest, but teaching her the lifelong skills of self soothing and getting good sleep are important. I have to continually keep reminding myself of those facts.

Once she is through this big Wonder Week (which is a misnomer because this "leap" can be several weeks long- ugh!) I can't wait to see the baby that emerges, well rested and ready to take on the world!

For now, nights are MUCH better but the days have been rough with the extra fussiness & clinging. Funny enough, the one sure thing that ALWAYS calms Eloise and sends her into a calm trance is singing "The Wheels on the Bus." No other song has proven to have the same effect. So weird! And thanks to BC for discovering this, as he's the one who months ago started singing it to her.

It's so amazing to feel WELL RESTED for the first time in over 5 months. Iyla also returns to school tomorrow after a fun but EXHAUSTING winter break, so we are all looking forward to getting back into our daily routines and a sense of balance.

Bring it on, 2017!

Sleep Training- Kid #2

If you've been following my blog you'll know that our 2nd kid Eloise has never been a good sleeper. And by that, I mean she has been an AWFUL sleeper for most of the 5 months of her life. It wasn't uncommon for her to be up 5-7x/night wanting comfort, nursing, & snuggling to get back to sleep.

I was exhausted. I'd get physically nauseous from the fatigue, and was having trouble putting sentences together.

And I DREADED doing any sleep training. This was a baby that by day was the happiest, most jolly little girl around. How could I subject her to sleep training? Would it even work with such an atrocious sleeper?

I spent 2 months doing a LOT of research in different Mama groups regarding sleep training. Specifically interested in stories pertaining to bad sleepers who- after sleep training- miraculously became GOOD sleepers. Those stories gave me hope.

And yet I delayed. Iyla was trained just shy 5 months, and for some reason as Eloise's 5 month marker went by I still didn't feel ready.

But would I ever feel ready?

Then last week I hit my limit. I had a cold that caused a lot of coughing throughout the night, so between being up for an hour at a time coughing and a baby up another 3-4x, I was hardly functioning.

Eloise also started mastering her tripod sit on December 27th, and I knew increased mobility wasn't far behind. Thus IT WAS TIME. She wasn't sick, wasn't teething, wasn't mobile, wasn't in a predictable sleep regression- truly the conditions were ideal. 

Enter Sleep Camp 2016 for Eloise.

I planned to again do the Weissbluth method of "rapid extinction" crying it out we used with great success when training Iyla. I was going to couple this with removing Eloise's swaddle and replacing it with a sleepsack, hoping that free hands would provide her another tool for self-soothing.

I was so nervous for our first night, and ironically developed food poisoning that same evening. Between running to the bathroom and watching the baby monitor, no sleep was to be had on my end. I kept thinking how timely this all was as there was NO WAY I could have been up all night nursing with food poisoning!

One of the big changes I made to Eloise's routine in the training was to give her a pumped bottle of milk BEFORE her bath, instead of right before bed. I'd read that this helps break the association of nursing to sleep, an important step in teaching babies to self-soothe at night. So the new routine would go bottle, bath, jammies & sleepsack, then to her room for 2 songs and a quick goodnight.

Here are my notes from night #1:

7:07pm put down to bed drowsy but awake. Cried for 4 minutes then raspberry blowing.
7:14-7:28 crying (14 minutes)- then asleep!
11:30-11:33 crying (3 minutes)
11:50 awoke complaining. I had vowed NOT to go to her before midnight for a feed (was planning on one feed for the night) so this was a dilemma- and I chose to wait and hope she self soothed back to sleep.
12:15- still crying/complaining so I went in to nurse. I think that was a MISTAKE in retrospect because to a baby, I just showed her that if she fussed for that amount of time I'd come back in. Which leads to the next 2 wake-ups:
1:10-1:50 crying (40 minutes). I fully think this was because she expected me to come back in, poor buddy.
2:40-3:10 crying (30 minutes). This is usually the time of night Eloise was the HARDEST. It wasn't uncommon for her to awake at 3, 4, 5, and 6am wanting comforting.
7:30- up for the day!

She was fussy and sleepy throughout the day, likely due to the fragmented sleep. She did take a 2.5 hour nap on top of me mid-day which helped a lot.

Now on to night #2! Here are my notes:

7:22pm put down to bed, some complaining.
7:34-7:37 crying (4 minutes) then asleep!
7:37pm- 6:30am SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT.

Say WHAT?

BC was on night duty and reported that at 6am he went in to make sure she was still breathing.

Holy s***. This is nothing short of a MIRACLE.

I'm now thinking that the one night nursing I'd been planning on isn't necessary and may actually be more confusing than anything else to her.... so the plan is to just drop that altogether and let this kid (hopefully) continue to sleep through the night.

Go Eloise! The future looks bright....

 The face of a kid after her first time sleeping through the night!

Sleep Training Updates

Tonight was night #3 of Sleep Camp for Iyla Grace. And wow... I am so impressed by our little lady. To recap:

Night #1:
Cried initially 23 minutes
Up at 11- cried for 15 min
Up at 2:45: nursed, right back to sleep
Up at 4:30: cried for 10 min
Up happy & smiling for the day at 7:15

Night #2:
Cried initially for 21 minutes
Heard a faint cry at 2am but she went immediately back to sleep- may have cried out IN her sleep?
Up to nurse at 5am- that is the longest stretch she has EVER done!
Up happy for the day at 7:45

Night #3
WENT TO SLEEP WITH NO CRYING. I kid you not. She talked and talked & cooed in there for awhile, and I was SURE when she realized she was tired with no paci in her mouth she'd start up... but nope, quietly & calmly went right to sleep!

Now naps? Those are another story. I felt like I was seriously putting Iyla through torture today with crying it out during nap times. This led to a very overtired baby, and a very upset, stressed out Mama. Iyla and I spent the entire afternoon cuddling, where I happily let her nap in my arms for over 2 hours. My instinct is that she isn't quite ready for nap consolidation... I will continue to lay her in her crib when tired, but if she cries will get her and try other means of rest. I knew she was ready for nighttime training- and she is proving that indeed this was the case with how well she is doing- just as part of me KNOWS it isn't quite that time yet for naps.

One of the brief 15-25 minute naps she took in her crib. 

Sadly, she spent about 3x that amount of time crying. 

And this was our afternoon. Both of us seriously needed the cuddles!

And just for cuteness' sake, Iyla playing in her new Baby Bjorn chair.

The last couple of nights with her in her own room I have been waking up constantly, both from habit and from Mama Bear worry. Every little noise I hear has me checking her monitor, making sure she is OK and still breathing. I know each night will get better... and I do know this is the right step... so here's hoping I will start feeling more relaxed & rested again soon! We are definitely on the right track.

A Sleep Miracle on Haskell Street

Last night was Iyla's first time sleeping in her own room and her own crib. We had decided to start sleep training and couple it with a move to her room AND the removal of her swaddle. Big changes for our little lady!

In the past month or so Iyla's nighttime sleeping had regressed to getting up at LEAST 2x, if not 3-4/night. Sunday night took the cake- I nursed her at 11pm, was up with her from 2:30-3:30, up again at 4:30, then up for the day at 7. That sealed the deal to begin Sleep Camp 2013.

And Iyla did amazing.

I was dreading this all.day.long. At 7:30pm I nursed Iyla, put her in a sleep sack, sang to her, and put her down in the crib. She played & cooed for about 15 minutes, then the crying began. Admittedly I cried too as I watched on my monitor. Twenty-three long minutes later and she was OUT! I was expecting to have to endure much longer than that!

At 11pm she cried for 15 minutes and put herself back to sleep, at 2:45 I got up to nurse her, at 4:30 she cried for 10 minutes, then at 7:15 I checked my monitor and to my surprise she was already up- just rolling & playing in her crib. When BC and I went in to get her she was ALL smiles! Such a big girl.

I can already feel a new found sense of freedom with this transition. Last night I was able to do laundry and actually read in bed with the lights on! And this morning I followed suit with the sleep training & did a routine for her morning nap- nursed, sleep sack, sang, & laid her down- and miracle of miracles, she went RIGHT to sleep with no crying! That was almost an hour ago and she is still sleeping up there. I have gotten work done & was able to actually finish my breakfast. Up until now Iyla's naps were either in my arms or in her swing downstairs, so this is amazing stuff.

We are following the "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" book. The basic premise is that little ones often need help learning how to self soothe & put themselves back to sleep- and this is an important skill to learn to ensure they are well rested. Yes- it is also known as the infamous "cry it out" method, but I tell you what- our little girl was so well rested and happy this morning, I can already tell this was the right move for her at the right time. SO proud of our sweet Iyla Grace!

 This is the face of a happy, well rested little lady. 

Yay Iyla!