Mama's ME Day

For the last week, I've been feeling worn down. Tired, moody, hormonal- just... off. Throwing fertility treatments and appointments into the mix of an already full work/life/Mama/wife regime has definitely tipped things out of balance, and I was starting to feel like a shadow of myself.

Historically I know that whenever I start feeling this way, it means I am in deep need of some self nurturing.

On weekends BC helps out with Iyla from her wake up through her nap so I can work, get house chores done, run errands etc. Every other weekend he takes a full day for himself to recharge- golfing with good friends then heading out for dinner and drinks with them.

Last weekend was a golf weekend, so heading into this weekend I made the request for a full ME Day- something I don't do very often. It then came to me that if I got a full ME day plus BC taking the wake-until-nap shift the following day, I could maybe get away. As in- go somewhere OVERNIGHT.

Just the thought made me giddy.

After checking with BC (who was completely supportive) I did some quick research and booked one of the last trail side rooms available at Travaasa Resort just outside of Austin. This resort is nestled into a wildlife preserve and features a gorgeous spa and its own farm that provides farm to table meals. And? A daily "activity" menu with things like meditation and yoga:

Yes, PLEASE.

This morning- on the cusp of my highly anticipated ME Day- I awoke to pouring rain and flashing migraine lights.

Um, Universe? This is NOT how I had planned to start the day.

I was not to be deterred, and happily it appears that this was to be the worst of it.

To start with, I never got the pain that accompanies my migraines over 50% of the time. Thankfully the Niacin and migraine meds I took were effective,  and I was again ready to take the day by storm (pun intended).

Better.

I then packed my bags, gave lots of kisses to BC and Iyla, and headed off to a local coffee shop for breakfast. Over the last couple of months I've cut out caffeine in an effort to improve overall health and fertility- but knowing that caffeine can help with migraines, went ahead and got a lovely (one shot) cappuccino with my eggs:

Naughty delicious

Better.

I then headed to my doctor's office for a follicle release check. I'd had IUI's the previous two days, and as usual, at yesterday's IUI I hadn't ovulated yet. This is my 4th injectables cycle, and the very first one was the ONLY one where more than one egg released- and the ONLY one where we got pregnant (unfortunately ending quickly in a Chemical Pregnancy). Heading into this cycle, I was pretty adamant with Dr. Vaughn that I wanted to do whatever we could to hopefully have more than one follicle mature and (fingers crossed) release.

So at this morning's appointment the on-call doctor took a look and declared that she no longer saw any of my top 3 follicles, likely meaning that ALL THREE HAD RELEASED.

Cue me to:

ELATED AND EXCITED! Increased odds! Go baby go!

REALISTIC/FROU: If this kid isn't ready to join the family yet, even THREE tempting egg opportunities won't bring him/her here.

TERRIFIED: Dear God, what if more than one actually take?

Overall I left the appointment with my heart singing and hopeful, and proceeded to drive to my own personal Resort paradise.

I began the day at the spa with a massage by a French therapist. As he was stretching my legs and remarking how incredibly flexible I was, I noted that this was quite amazing given I hadn't been working out or doing much yoga lately. To which he replied in his thick accent:

"Zee study show zat zee tight glute eh pas ideal- flat, flaccid glute eh better pour zee ip eh knee."

Pardonnez moi, Monsieur? Did you just call my butt flat and flaccid?

Alas, he was on to me. It's true: flat and flaccid glutes have moi.

But I digress.

I spent much of the rainy afternoon at the spa, partaking in the hot tubs & steam room. I then checked into my gorgeous little nature-perched room, unpacked, and headed out for a muddy hike. I suddenly felt so much gratitude for the rain I'd cursed that morning, as there was not another soul on the trail and the temperatures were gloriously in the lower 60's (as compared to the 90's of the previous week).

I proceeded to wash up and walk to dinner. On my way, I noticed two ladies staring at me intently.

Was it my flat flaccid glutes?

Then one of the ladies called out "Jules?" and lo and behold, it was the woman who had married BC and I over 6 years ago! She was here celebrating her mom's 60th birthday. What amazing small world serendipity!

Bring it on, Universe.

And now I bring you my first ME Day in photos:

Home sweet home for the night

The view from my private patio

Equally as rejuvenating? The photos BC texted me of his day with Iyla. Cue my heart melting:

BEST.

And now my cup runneth over.

The Little Red Pill

In 2008, I had a somewhat sudden onset of ocular migraines (about 2 months before marrying BC- we joke that he definitely induced them). The first episode scared the living daylights out of me, as the flashing lights & lack of vision in my right eye had me convinced I was having a seizure.

Since then, these migraines have settled into my regular daily life. It is rare for a week to go by without having one, and often there will be 2 or 3 within one week's time.

The first thing I found to combat the excruciating pain was Vicodin, and this was purely by accident. We were at a friend's house when the disco lights started partying in my eye- and this friend said he had some pain meds that might help. Within an hour of taking one, I felt the tight, painful tension melt away and I was miraculously pain free.

I was then prescribed Midrin by my general doc. This was a medicine I took at the first signs of a migraine, and its quick acting magic meant I never had to endure the actual pain related to the episode. A small miracle, to say the least!

As I was entering the actively 'trying to conceive' world, I knew that Midrin and Vicodin were not safe for if and when I got pregnant. That's when my chiropractor- who himself is a fellow migraine sufferer- told me about Niacin. Niacin is pretty much just a fancy name for a concentrated Vitamin B3 pill, and is known for creating a 'flush' when you take it. Meaning that all of a sudden your skin gets hot, prickly, & tingly with red splotches everywhere- but amazingly, this nips the migraine pain at the front end, as it completely opens the contracted capillaries that cause the migraine in the first place.

During pregnancy I relied on Niacin & Tylenol, and that has been my migraine protocol for the past couple of years (with Vicodin as an emergency backup if for some reason the Niacin doesn't stop the pain). Meanwhile, Midrin has been discontinued and is no longer available to the general public.

My migraine triggers are vast and complicated. Here is a known list of things that seem to induce my episodes:

*Fatigue
*Stress
*Trying to focus on someone who has a window or blinds behind them (this is such a weird one, but the most often culprit! Because of this I always VERY carefully choose where I sit when out to eat or when conversing with others- if they have a window or blinds behind them it is really hard for me to focus on them and almost always triggers my flashing lights).
*Muscle tension (also from stress- seems when the right side of my neck & shoulder are extra tight the migraines come more often).

And added now to the list of triggers?

Vegas.

Vacation migraines are my nemesis. Though I am admittedly less stressed on vacation, I am often much more tired, dehydrated, & overall off schedule. So I always make sure to pack my arsenal of meds and hope for the best.

Which brings us to yesterday.

I had an absolutely lovely, luxurious day here at our hotel, starting with this:

And adding in this:

Pina Colada poolside? Yes, please.

Then heading off to a one hour massage.

Sun + cocktail + massage = exhaustion, so I set off to take a nap. 

Except I couldn't for the life of me fall asleep. And right when I was teetering in that space where I thought I might finally drift off, the flashing lights began.

Shit.

I got up to take a Niacin. Then my Aunt called to FaceTime with Iyla Gracie, which was a lovely distraction despite our poor internet connection (Iyla was still having a ball, showing me all her babies and dollies and how she can put them down her new slide!).

Still feeling exhausted, I now knew I wasn't going to sleep. So I went in an entirely different direction and cracked open a can of Red Bull. I needed to pull myself together for our night on the town!

When BC got back to the room I was feeling pretty good but still really tired. We headed out to another hotel nearby that we had heard excellent things about - The Cosmopolitan. It was a super swanky, sexy hotel to say the least. There were many Playboy bunny esque looking ladies hanging on the arms of their suitors, and crystal chandeliers draping down from every nook and cranny.

Did I mention light as a trigger for my migraines?

We sat down at the bar and were delighted to find the bartender knew and made our very favorite cocktail, the Corpse Reviver #2:

Two please, with a luxardo cherry

Within moments of my first sip the flashing lights started again. 

WTF?

I could hardly believe another migraine was starting less than 2 hours after the first! This was not good. I pulled out my little medicine pouch and rustled through it, thinking maybe I'd take another Niacin, or possibly 1/2 of a Vicodin to ensure that I wouldn't have throbbing pain for the rest of the night.

And then I saw it. The little red pill.

It was the one and only Midrin left from my initial stash years ago, and there it sat- a glimmering ruby beckoning to me from the sea of white. I remembered how effectively it used to work, generally making me feel energized/hopped up after taking it, given it had caffeine as one of the ingredients.

So I went for it.

Literally 10 minutes after taking it I started to feel really funny. And intensely nauseous. I breathed deeply and tried to collect myself, telling BC we should probably make our way to dinner soon. I hoped getting some food in my Red Bull Corpse Reviver Midrin belly would help assuage the situation.

We headed upstairs to the fancy steakhouse STK. What a gorgeous place! Complete with lots of shimmery lights. Oy.

Good thing there was low light in there so you couldn't see the extent of my exhaustion

As we ordered and people watched, I was trying my best to will my body into behaving and bouncing back. I was in Vegas, dammit! It was early in the evening and only my 2nd night here. But I could not shake the overwhelming blanket of fatigue & nausea that was cloaking me. BC was so sweet, asking me what I needed and telling me not to feel badly about this. We ate our delicious steaks, I sipped as much of my expensive and amazing glass of red wine as I could (which wasn't much- my body was definitely telling me NO MORE ALCOHOL) and found myself longing to be back in the hotel room for a warm bath.

Hot date!

So back to the hotel we went. BC headed downstairs to play a little Craps while I attempted to go to sleep. However, having Red Bull and Midrin in my system caused me to have a very exhausted body but very alert and awake mind. Which meant it would be awhile before I finally could sleep.

If you're keeping a tally so far:

Vegas Night #1= Jules 1, Vegas 0
Vegas Night #2= Jules 0, Vegas 1

This morning I am still feeling pretty exhausted with a slightly throbbing head, hoping a nap is in my future so I can be back with bells on for our last official night out.

And?

I am missing Iyla. Not in a 'I want to cut the trip short and go home now' kind of way, but in a visceral physical "I cannot WAIT to hug and kiss and snuggle that sweet girl again' kind of way. I've been pointing out every single baby I see here to BC, which is probably getting old. But they all remind me of our sweet Iyla Grace, whom I can't wait to see again Sunday (and whose photos I can't stop looking through)!

This kid melts me.

Adventures in Colic, Baby Potties, & Cloth Diapers. Plus- How to Piss Off Your Sleeping Baby

Iyla had her one month appointment on Friday. I talked at length with her doctor about the fussiness, wondering if I should consider cutting out dairy or trying other techniques to help curb the colic. Our Pediatrician said from everything I told her it sounded like Iyla was having the normal bout of an immature digestive system (present in all newborns and peaking around 4-6 weeks)- and that some babies are more sensitive than others to this. She didn't think eliminating foods in my diet was necessary (yay!), and that Iyla would eventually grow out of this.

I will say that Iyla has seemed better the last couple of days. I have been putting her to sleep in a somewhat inclined position after feedings in her Rock n' Play sleeper instead of flat on her back, and am hoping that this might be part of what is helping. I read that some babies can have "silent reflux,' which is basically reflux without any obvious signs like spitting up/etc. Iyla definitely has the hiccups a LOT & does have an audibly rumbling tummy at times, so I am all for her sleeping inclined if that helps her little system digest better as it matures.

Iyla weighed in at 7 pounds, 3 ounces and was 21 1/8 inches tall at her one month checkup. She is now at the 50th percentile for height, and still 'petite' at the 8-9th percentile for weight. Future Supermodel?

Working on her best "Blue Steel"

Sam wanted to get in the mix- he is definitely off the charts with his weight!

I made the official switch over to cloth diapers about 4 days ago, and have been LOVING the 'Lil Joey Newborn All-In-Ones. They definitely are not cheap, but we will be able to use them with future kiddos and they do excellent on the cloth diaper resale market. They are super soft, super easy, and super adorable!

One added bonus of starting the cloth diapers? Iyla has been ROCKING the baby potty since making the switch. I am not sure if a direct correlation can be made, but ever since I started the cloth I would say 8 times out of 10 when I put her on the potty during diaper changes she will do a #1 or #2 or both! I am finding her diapers dry more and more often, and wonder if the material in these 'Lil Joeys helps her be extra aware of her system. We have been using the BABYBJORN Smart Potty, and I have one for each of her changing stations. I pull out the small white inside bowl and hold her by the armpits on top of it, making "pssssss" and "ppppppp" sounds to cue her while she is there. She is typically very still & alert, and will wiggle and fuss when done. 

And to add to the embarrassing photos we are stockpiling to blackmail her with in her teen years, I present to you Iyla on the potty:

My mother is so rude

I also discovered an AWESOME way to piss off your sweet sleeping baby. I attempted to get a handprint for Iyla's baby book while she was slumbering away- and let's just say it did NOT go well. She woke up almost immediately screaming bloody murder and proceeded to get ink everywhere. Project FAIL! 

And of course I paused to take pictures

This afternoon I am getting some much anticipated "me" time and heading out for a massage. I had two ocular migraines yesterday, which definitely points to my body being off again. It's insane the physical toll carrying & nursing a baby can take!

But you, sweet little one, are totally worth it

These are the weeks of our lives

I always thought it was confusing when pregnant women spoke about how far along they were in terms of weeks.

"Oh you're pregnant! How far along are you?"

"14 weeks."

Cue me doing some really fast mental math-

"So you're 3 months?"

"Well, yes- but 3 months and two WEEKS."

I get it now. And because I am still so early in the journey, the weeks AND days make a big difference! Today I am considered 4 weeks, 5 days pregnant (if my conception date of March 8th is accurate. During the full moon- woot!) Every single week marks amazing development- especially in this early phase. For example, at week 4, the embryo looks a bit like this picture:

No bigger than the size of a poppy seed, this little one is going through incredible changes.

Then, just a week later, the embryo starts looking like a primitive shrimp- a fetus!

It is now the size of an orange seed, and it's little heart can be seen developing

 (though likely not heard yet).

It is still hard to fathom that I am really pregnant. I.AM.PREGNANT. My boobs are definitely telling me something is up (so sore- but no larger than normal yet- sorry BC!). I also have a constant feeling of pressure down on my lower left abdomen, and have definitely been making more trips to the bathroom & refrigerator.

I have another beta draw on Thursday to see my numbers, and I think in another 2 weeks (at 7 weeks gestation) I will get to have my first sonogram, where we pray to see a strong heartbeat! Can't wait for that appointment. Another 'two week wait,' but a much more fun one this round.

And for those of you who enjoy my "frou-frou" postings, here's one for you.

On Sunday afternoon I decided to take a brisk walk along the water in the spring sunshine. It was much warmer than I expected it to be, and at the end of the walk I sat down under a tree to stretch and mop the sweat from my brow. I did a brief meditation, and asked to connect to the energy of the little ones coming to us (I sense two of them- not necessarily both coming at the same time- now wouldn't THAT be a shock?!- but a 2nd one coming eventually).

I always feel the first little one's energy on my left side. I strongly suspect she is a girl, but time will tell! I felt her energy- and with it got an immediate wave of nausea. Awesome. That one has some powerful mojo! I would not be surprised at all if he/she came a little early & was a feisty Scorpio.

When I called in the energy of the other little one- always to my right, it was like a cool, calm, soothing blue/purple energy to balance out the fiery spiraling energy of the left. I then sensed them both dancing merrily around me- and immediately got an ocular migraine. So strange- often when I see my psychic friend Cristy I'll get an immediate ocular migraine, so not sure if that has to do with the strong psychic energy around? Or maybe I just overheated on my walk.

Note to self: no more calling in baby energy when overheated. Bad combo.


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And here are my March Photos for days 25-27:

Day #25, "SPARKLE"

I dug out this necklace at the beginning of the month and have been wearing it ever since. I now consider it an absolute lucky charm! BC purchased it for me on a trip to Madison years ago, and if you look closely, you'll see a little fairy figure saddling 2 stone "eggs." I love it.

Day #26- "DRINK"

We started our first garden last Saturday! Here's BC giving our little baby plants a drink of water. Grow little ones, grow! Hoping they survive and thrive. We are total novices, and were just so excited the next day to see that the plants were actually still there. 

And lastly, Day #27- "FRESH"

I was driving through a residential Austin neighborhood the other day, and came upon an entire vacant lot filled with these gorgeous wildflowers! The first sign that spring is definitely here. The air was crisp and fresh with the smell of honeysuckle.