Another Dream

Last night a baby girl who was clearly our daughter appeared in my dream. She looked exactly how I'd pictured her-  chubby with a full head of thick hair (of course she looked like I'd pictured, right? It was MY subconscious dreaming her up). There was also something to do with the date July 11th, which I took note of. This is the very first time I've dreamt of babe #2, and I took it as an auspicious sign that perhaps his/her journey to us is near.

I should also point out that Iyla appeared to me in a dream about 3 weeks before we conceived her….

Worth the wait

I had fun this cycle obsessing over every.little.thing, since the anty was upped with the Femara and IUI. I Googled endless DPO sign threads and paid crazy attention to every twitch and tingle in my body. I do still feel very Zen about this process, and keep faith that another babe will come to us. I have learned I can do everything humanly possible to call that little one in- but that in the end, they will come when THEY are good and ready.

Having said all that, I unfortunately think this cycle is a bust. I had pink spotting at 5dpo with light brown since then- and today at 8dpo there was a significant swipe of red blood in the morning. It seems really early for my cycle to be starting (and would be an extremely short luteal phase!), but alas- it appears that's what may be happening.

The lovely silver lining this month? Our upcoming trip to New York City in TWO WEEKS!

I plan to fully partake in cocktails.

Femara & IUIs & Mommy Thumb, Oh My!

A few updates from the past week...

We re-discovered sweet Iyla G has an intolerance for tomatoes. She had a handful of bites at dinner (and loved them!) and within 30 minutes was screaming in abdominal pain, which resulted in diarrhea. I couldn't stomach tomatoes when pregnant, and highly suspected sensitivities with her when I ate them while breastfeeding. Poor buddy! This on top of a nasty cold I gave to both BC and Iyla.

BC comforting our sad baby girl post tomatoes

I finally had surgery on my Mommy Thumb Friday! I had to be put completely under and wear a huge bandage for 3 days with very limited use of my right hand. Slowly but surely I am getting more and more movement and use of my hand, and am optimistic that this will solve the problem once and for all.

Iyla saying "kiss boo-boo!" She has been so sweet.

I visited good 'ole Dr. Vaughn for the first time in over 2 years! He was as sweet & feisty as ever. Took a look at Franny- who has definitely grown a bit- but who Dr. Vaughn still feels is better left alone than dealing with surgery to remove (yay!). We are going full steam ahead, and the day of my appointment I began taking Femara and we will do a Femara/IUI cycle this month. The current plan is June Femara/IUI, July Femara/intercourse (given our trip to NYC), and if nothing has taken at that point, possibly moving to a Gonal-F injectables cycle/IUI in August. 

BC asked if I thought all of this was needed to get pregnant, given our history (3 years of SO many medicated/IUI cycles, then ultimately conceiving naturally on our own). My response and overall attitude? Who knows, but why not? I am ready to be proactive. I feel much less desperation this time around than I did before we had Iyla, and am hopeful I can keep this relaxed, low stress attitude as we move forward. I feel excited and ready to rock n roll toward baby #2! We've been actively trying for a year since my cycle returned, and for almost 6 months since I stopped breastfeeding. Giving a little extra UMPH to the process definitely can't hurt.

Iyla has been growing up daily, and it constantly amazes me! This morning while having her milk, she opened up her hand and I said to her (as I always do)- "those are your fingers!" To which she replied "need cut nails." Ha! Yesterday I had told her we needed to cut her nails (and we did), and that little bugger remembered and thought she'd ask about it again today.

She also showed me that she can now climb up on park benches all.by.herself, thank you very much! Big girl.

So proud

Feeling so much gratitude and appreciation daily for all things in my life- the sweet sense of balance between work, family, and "me" time… and of course, for this darling little girl. We are blessed!

Our TTC Overview

Welcome to the ICLW folks stopping by!

I thought it might be good to introduce myself, and give a snapshot of our almost 3 year TTC journey:

July 2008: I marry my "Babycakes" (BC) in Austin, TX
April 2009: We decide to start officially trying for a family
April 2010: My regular OB/GYN gives me the 'unexplained infertility' label
Fall 2010 I begin seeing a fertility specialist
December 2010: 50mg Clomid (produces 3 follicles!) = BFN
January 2011: 50mg Femara (just 1 follicle)= BFN
February 2011: Back to 50 mg Clomid (1 follicle) + IUI = BFN
BREAK
June 2011: Laparoscopic surgery revealed (and cleared) Stage III endometriosis.
June 2011: IUI = BFN
July 2011: 50 mg Clomid (1 follicle) + IUI = BFN
September 2011: IUI= BFN
October 2011: IUI= BFN (are you seeing a theme here?)
November 2011: move into my first injectables cycle with Gonal-F + 2 IUI's (3 follicles released)
December 2011: Holy S***- first every BFP!! Sadly, ended in a chemical pregnancy days later
BREAK due to ovarian cyst
February 2012: 2nd Injectables cycle w. Gonal F and 2 IUI's= BFN (only 1 follicle released)
March 2012: With cysts on both ovaries, my doc told me this month was out for interventions. On March 20th- testing on a whim, I got a surprise, natural BFP!!! In total shock.

We are now a bit over 8 weeks along on our journey, and praying daily that this little one becomes our take home baby at the end of November.

I'd love to learn a bit about each of you as well! A few questions:

*Where are you from? 
(I am from small town Wisconsin- went to Madison for college then moved to Austin on a total whim in 1999)
*What is your all time favorite movie?
(I LOVE Annie Hall)
*If you could take a dream vacation anywhere in the world, where would you go?
(This is a toss up between another European tour- hitting Paris, Barcelona, Budapest, Vienna, etc- or heading out to New Zealand)

Happy ICLW week! I look forward to getting to know you all.

Slow and Steady (Wins the Race?)- Injectables Day 8

At my visit with Dr. V on Friday, my follicles made it clear they were in no rush this month. I had hoped with 4 days' spacing between appointments that they'd be farther along, but Dr. V seemed just fine with the pace, as we don't want more than 3 lead follicles taking over at any given time (cue an impatient sigh over here). So much for less total blood draws this cycle!

Here are my current counts with 8 days of Gonal-F injections under my belt (literally):

Right Ovary: 11, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 7, 6, 5
Left Ovary: 11, 8, 7, 6, 6
Estrogen: 230

I can't help but feel like a case study in "Diminishing Marginal Returns." Way back on my first innocent cycle of Clomid, my body had an awesome response and produced 3 good sized follicles. On subsequent months with the same dosages (amazing how quickly I lose track of the numbers- I think I had 3-4 total tries with Clomid, 1 with Femara?) I never again produced more than 1 follicle.

Likewise, on my first cycle of Gonal-F back in November/December, I was on the exact same dosages I am now, but those follies and estrogen levels progressed a whole lot faster. I didn't even finish my 1.5ml pen that round, whereas this month's pen has maybe one more draw in it, and I still have days of injections remaining.

Case in point, these were my counts from day #8 on my last injectables cycle:

Right ovary: 16, 14, 14, 14, 8, 7, 6
Left ovary: 12,11,10, 8, 7

Estrogen: 582

It appears my ovaries are onto us- the gig is up.

And yes, I know it isn't about how fast those follicles grow, rather that 2-3 eventually reach that critical 20mm size. But I still can't help feeling a wee bit disappointed that the troops seem sluggish this round.

I had scheduled an energy clearing session today to remove any residual "muck" from my system toward The Great Release of 2012. About an hour before my appointment I got a call from what sounded like a frog - it was D saying she was sick, had lost her voice, and had to cancel. So now I have to just trust that my system is still open & clear and ready to embrace another pregnancy? Say what?


Patience and trust. Patience and trust. Truly believing this can happen. Trusting in the (oh so SLOW! Why is it so SLOW?) timing of it all.

And the journey continues.....