Here We Go- Again!

At my monitoring appointment with Dr. V today, he greeted me by saying "let's see if we have any 16mm follicles!" He is so pumped up about this sloooow and steady growth.

As he moved the sonogram wand around, two things were evident:

*My left ovary continues to be very, very lazy.
*My right ovary is apparently picking up the slack for the left, and seems to have exploded (in a good way) in the past two days!

Today's counts:

Lazy Left Ovary: 12, 10 (Dr. V stopped at that, as it was clear there was nothing to see over there)
Rockin' Right Ovary: 22!!, 19, 17.5, 10

And like a crazy fertility patient proud mother, I had the nurse make a copy of my top two follies' sonograms:

First photo! Aren't they precious? May they become babies who are equally as precious.

Dr. V and I were both shocked by how fast those right follicles had grown in 2 days- to the effect that he asked me if I'd been sneaking extra medicine (I have to admit I'd thought about it; alas, I've been an A+ patient, administering 37.5 iu of my prescribed meds Monday, 75 yesterday). I did feel the need to mention I'd had sweet potatoes to eat last night (in a batch of West African Peanut Soup- YUM!), which, you know, are known for being high in estrogen? This was met by blank stares & a small chuckle. Hey, it's all I could come up with to explain this rocket speed growth (that and my all day every day prayers & visualizations, but I didn't want to freak Dr. V out too much with my frou-frou ways).

So tonight is TRIGGER TIME with good 'ole Ovidrel! We'll have our back to back IUI's tomorrow and Friday. I am grateful we're squeaking them in before the weekend- I suspect my right ovary is crushing on Dr. V and wanting to make sure it is he who assists us this cycle, not some random weekend on-call doc. I'm totally on board with that- thanks, ovary!

February 17th will prove to be a monumental (and hopefully auspicious!) day indeed; not only is it the day my House Hunters episode premieres (link here), but it is also the day I'll do my blood work to see if this month's endeavors were successful and Baby Lambert is on his or her way.

Your prayers & baby dust are welcomed and appreciated... here we go- again!

Dear Estrogen: Me and My Right Ovary Love You

I had another appointment with Dr. V this afternoon. This morning's blood draw (which was very tolerable- yay!) showed that my estrogen levels jumped from 230 on Friday to 738 today! Those hormones must have been partying all weekend long.

My right ovary is lovin' all that estrogen as well, as seen in today's counts:

Right ovary: 13, 13, 13, 10, 9, 6
Left ovary: 10, 10, 8, 6, 4
Estrogen: 738

My left ovary is apparently feeling lazy this cycle. My theory is that since I normally ovulate from the left side, that ovary is happy to take a break, sit on the sidelines, and let the right side shine. When I said something along those lines to Dr. V he said "maybe the right side will be the one that finally gets you pregnant!" Love that optimism, and I'll take it!

Not so optimistic? Fibroid Franny's fate. As Dr. V's sonogram brushed past her "look at me NOW!" girth, he mumbled "it is really growing against your uterus" (uh, we already determined that...) along with "it is really low and would be hard to reach- have you ever heard of robotic surgery?" Yeah. Not something I really want to be thinking about right now, and hopefully not something we need to consider for MANY, MANY months. Franny: lay off the estrogen. That stuff is meant for my follicles, and we don't need you feeding & festering any further.

The best news of the day? My exponential estrogen jump gets me out of having to do any more blood draws this cycle, since we now know my levels are good!!!

In summary:

Loving the estrogen?
*Me and my right ovary. May she continue to grow fantastically fertile follicles.
*Franny (damn her!)

Not digging the estrogen?
*My lazy left ovary and my boobs, which are starting to slowly but surely get their Gonal-F swell on.

That's about right

Slow and Steady (Wins the Race?)- Injectables Day 8

At my visit with Dr. V on Friday, my follicles made it clear they were in no rush this month. I had hoped with 4 days' spacing between appointments that they'd be farther along, but Dr. V seemed just fine with the pace, as we don't want more than 3 lead follicles taking over at any given time (cue an impatient sigh over here). So much for less total blood draws this cycle!

Here are my current counts with 8 days of Gonal-F injections under my belt (literally):

Right Ovary: 11, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 7, 6, 5
Left Ovary: 11, 8, 7, 6, 6
Estrogen: 230

I can't help but feel like a case study in "Diminishing Marginal Returns." Way back on my first innocent cycle of Clomid, my body had an awesome response and produced 3 good sized follicles. On subsequent months with the same dosages (amazing how quickly I lose track of the numbers- I think I had 3-4 total tries with Clomid, 1 with Femara?) I never again produced more than 1 follicle.

Likewise, on my first cycle of Gonal-F back in November/December, I was on the exact same dosages I am now, but those follies and estrogen levels progressed a whole lot faster. I didn't even finish my 1.5ml pen that round, whereas this month's pen has maybe one more draw in it, and I still have days of injections remaining.

Case in point, these were my counts from day #8 on my last injectables cycle:

Right ovary: 16, 14, 14, 14, 8, 7, 6
Left ovary: 12,11,10, 8, 7

Estrogen: 582

It appears my ovaries are onto us- the gig is up.

And yes, I know it isn't about how fast those follicles grow, rather that 2-3 eventually reach that critical 20mm size. But I still can't help feeling a wee bit disappointed that the troops seem sluggish this round.

I had scheduled an energy clearing session today to remove any residual "muck" from my system toward The Great Release of 2012. About an hour before my appointment I got a call from what sounded like a frog - it was D saying she was sick, had lost her voice, and had to cancel. So now I have to just trust that my system is still open & clear and ready to embrace another pregnancy? Say what?


Patience and trust. Patience and trust. Truly believing this can happen. Trusting in the (oh so SLOW! Why is it so SLOW?) timing of it all.

And the journey continues.....

Blue

Today was one of those days. Where it seems like everything is going against you. Blue. Blah.

It started at the crack of dawn with this morning's blood draw. Deciding to try a new lab, I was pleased when, upon arrival, a very CA-ute nurse-man greeted me. With longish curly dark hair & two earrings, he was a far cry from Snake Eyes!

He ushered me into the blood draw station, where I felt obliged to tell him (as I always do) that I am a total wimp with needles, have a low pain tolerance, and have a history of fainting. He assured me he was really good with the needle.

Game on, cute nurse-man, game ON!

I asked if he had different types of needles- specifically smaller needles, and realize in retrospect my key mistake here was not saying the words BUTTERFLY NEEDLE. He did choose the smaller of what he had (NOT a butterfly)- and went in.

Owww-OUCH!

He said something long the lines of "there's not much coming out" and moved the needle around while pushing on my vein. F***!! I was in so much agony he stopped. And instantly the flashing lights of an ocular migraine began.

He said he thought he might have just enough blood for the test sample (please oh PLEASE)- and asked if I could wait while they spun it. My arm was still throbbing in pain.

I waited 20 minutes. To have another substitute nurse come out and tell me they had to re-draw.

F'in awesome.

Happily, it was love at first poke with the substitute nurse. She immediately got out the BUTTERFLY NEEDLE and was so fast, it hardly hurt at all. Why oh why can't they ALL do it like that? Cute nurse-man was never seen again- I'm assuming his ego was as bruised as my right vein.

Exhausted, I headed home to pass the time until my appointment with Dr. Vaughn. Babycakes, fresh from a full nights' sleep/sleeping in, found me and said he'd had a really weird morning as well. He'd just received news from a friend that his ex (whom he had been with for 12 years prior to our getting together) had recently had twins. And there was a picture on Facebook to boot (yes, I had to see it). And they had names that easily could have been ones we'd choose: Lukas and Lilly. BC worried that maybe he shouldn't have told me, but I would never want there to be secrets between us.

I was now left feeling bruised AND battered. Totally blue. It's interesting how some pregnancies totally don't affect me (like my friend who is now preggers through IVF- whom I was genuinely THRILLED for) while others completely demolish me. And the fact that she had twins. At 38 some years old. My BC's ex, Ms. Fertile Myrtle.

So I proceeded to Dr. Vaughn's office snotty and red-faced. Not sure if this explains my crazy emotions, but I do have some teenage follicles partying in there:

Right ovary: (sweet)16, 14, 14, 14, 8, 7, 6
Left ovary: 12,11,10, 8, 7

                                          Fab Four Teenage Follicles

When I asked why the number of follicles changed visit to visit, Dr. V said the total number of follicles doesn't matter, and that he only measures the largest ones. The 4 teens on my right side are making a run for the lead! He again said that ideally we want 3 mature follicles to release; if 4 released, and *if* 4 took (which would be highly unlikely... and... HELL NO!) we'd need to be prepared for serious talks about selective reduction.

The BEST news of the visit was that Dr. V wants to see me again Tuesday- and ISN'T GOING TO MAKE ME DO A BLOOD DRAW THAT MORNING! I guess my sob story about this morning's experience got through to him. He said my estradiol (estrogen) levels are progressing such that we won't need to draw that day (142 day 3, to 290 day 6, to 582 today- day 8). I seriously wanted to kiss him!

Phew. What a day. There was more crap that ensued with grocery stores not having ingredients I needed, a real estate contract falling off, etc. etc., but I think I've vented enough for one post. May tomorrow be a sunnier one!

Injectables Day 6: Follicle Roll Call

I had my 2nd check-in for the Lucky 13 this morning. I wasn't thrilled to have to get up at 6:45 on the day after Thanksgiving for a blood draw, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do (boys truly do have it MUCH easier when it comes to fertility- Babycakes was slumbering soundly away as I departed at the crack of dawn).

I've come to call the main lady who does blood draws Snake Eyes. She wears green contacts over what I assume are brown eyes, giving her a serpent like quality. Old Snake Eyes was the one who couldn't find my vein last month (referenced in this post), and she's also the one who drew me last Tuesday and sparked a migraine (apparently the clinic was out of butterfly needles that day, so she had to use a torturous regular one on me).

This morning I said a little prayer before arriving to the clinic: Please let it be quick and as painless as possible. And please let Snake Eyes be off for the Holiday.

Well, one out of two ain't bad. Old Snake Eyes was there behind the glass partition, gossiping and complaining away about having to work (per her norm). Awesome. Please Snake Eyes, don't take it out on me! 

She also asks me EVERY TIME I go to the clinic if I've been there before. Apparently those Snake Eyes don't see so well (as evidenced in her vein finding abilities).

Thankfully she had a butterfly needle (she seemed annoyed when I asked), found my vein, and got to business quickly. No migraine! Much smoother this morning, but I am still seriously considering going to a different clinic for my next draw. With people who have normal eyes and might actually remember me.

I also noticed last night & this morning an early abundance of EWCM. I hardly ever get much naturally, much less on Day 9 of my cycle! It is an indication that those elevated estrogen levels are definitely cranking (and making me cranky).

So without further adieu, here is today's follicle role call (in millimeters), brought to you by the offices of Dr. Vaughn:

Right ovary: 7, 8, 11, 11, 12
Left ovary: 6, 6, 7, 7, 9, 10, 12, 12

Hmmm- I just noticed we had a couple side jumpers- still 13 follies, but the left ovary is taking the lead with an 8/5 split (8 total over there- my lucky number!) Hopefully there weren't an additional 2 missed on the right side....there were 7 there last Tuesday (where did they go?)

My follicles are distinguishing themselves into two groups- we have the three front-running 12mm babes, with the two 11mm close at their heels. Ideally, we want *only* the top 3 to release, hoping that 1, maybe 2, take.

                                                         Go top 3!!

The plan right now is to keep me on very low nightly Gonal-F doses (75ml/night), since I am having a good response. Dr. V says- and I quote- that he "doesn't want me to make National News." So slow and steady we go, with an estimated trigger date for mid/late next week. The office wants me back again Sunday for my next follow up (there go my brunch plans! Oh boy- early morning blood draws & doc visits, now spaced every TWO days. BC will surely sleep through them all).

At our Thanksgiving gathering yesterday, I treated all those who were interested to a Gonal-F administration viewing (my mom, aunt, and cousin partook- we squeezed it in between dinner and dessert). And at the end of the night, everyone sweetly said farewell to me and to my 13 eggs.

Little ones, we have a lot of folks rooting for you! Let's do this.