Blue

Today was one of those days. Where it seems like everything is going against you. Blue. Blah.

It started at the crack of dawn with this morning's blood draw. Deciding to try a new lab, I was pleased when, upon arrival, a very CA-ute nurse-man greeted me. With longish curly dark hair & two earrings, he was a far cry from Snake Eyes!

He ushered me into the blood draw station, where I felt obliged to tell him (as I always do) that I am a total wimp with needles, have a low pain tolerance, and have a history of fainting. He assured me he was really good with the needle.

Game on, cute nurse-man, game ON!

I asked if he had different types of needles- specifically smaller needles, and realize in retrospect my key mistake here was not saying the words BUTTERFLY NEEDLE. He did choose the smaller of what he had (NOT a butterfly)- and went in.

Owww-OUCH!

He said something long the lines of "there's not much coming out" and moved the needle around while pushing on my vein. F***!! I was in so much agony he stopped. And instantly the flashing lights of an ocular migraine began.

He said he thought he might have just enough blood for the test sample (please oh PLEASE)- and asked if I could wait while they spun it. My arm was still throbbing in pain.

I waited 20 minutes. To have another substitute nurse come out and tell me they had to re-draw.

F'in awesome.

Happily, it was love at first poke with the substitute nurse. She immediately got out the BUTTERFLY NEEDLE and was so fast, it hardly hurt at all. Why oh why can't they ALL do it like that? Cute nurse-man was never seen again- I'm assuming his ego was as bruised as my right vein.

Exhausted, I headed home to pass the time until my appointment with Dr. Vaughn. Babycakes, fresh from a full nights' sleep/sleeping in, found me and said he'd had a really weird morning as well. He'd just received news from a friend that his ex (whom he had been with for 12 years prior to our getting together) had recently had twins. And there was a picture on Facebook to boot (yes, I had to see it). And they had names that easily could have been ones we'd choose: Lukas and Lilly. BC worried that maybe he shouldn't have told me, but I would never want there to be secrets between us.

I was now left feeling bruised AND battered. Totally blue. It's interesting how some pregnancies totally don't affect me (like my friend who is now preggers through IVF- whom I was genuinely THRILLED for) while others completely demolish me. And the fact that she had twins. At 38 some years old. My BC's ex, Ms. Fertile Myrtle.

So I proceeded to Dr. Vaughn's office snotty and red-faced. Not sure if this explains my crazy emotions, but I do have some teenage follicles partying in there:

Right ovary: (sweet)16, 14, 14, 14, 8, 7, 6
Left ovary: 12,11,10, 8, 7

                                          Fab Four Teenage Follicles

When I asked why the number of follicles changed visit to visit, Dr. V said the total number of follicles doesn't matter, and that he only measures the largest ones. The 4 teens on my right side are making a run for the lead! He again said that ideally we want 3 mature follicles to release; if 4 released, and *if* 4 took (which would be highly unlikely... and... HELL NO!) we'd need to be prepared for serious talks about selective reduction.

The BEST news of the visit was that Dr. V wants to see me again Tuesday- and ISN'T GOING TO MAKE ME DO A BLOOD DRAW THAT MORNING! I guess my sob story about this morning's experience got through to him. He said my estradiol (estrogen) levels are progressing such that we won't need to draw that day (142 day 3, to 290 day 6, to 582 today- day 8). I seriously wanted to kiss him!

Phew. What a day. There was more crap that ensued with grocery stores not having ingredients I needed, a real estate contract falling off, etc. etc., but I think I've vented enough for one post. May tomorrow be a sunnier one!

Injectables Day 6: Follicle Roll Call

I had my 2nd check-in for the Lucky 13 this morning. I wasn't thrilled to have to get up at 6:45 on the day after Thanksgiving for a blood draw, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do (boys truly do have it MUCH easier when it comes to fertility- Babycakes was slumbering soundly away as I departed at the crack of dawn).

I've come to call the main lady who does blood draws Snake Eyes. She wears green contacts over what I assume are brown eyes, giving her a serpent like quality. Old Snake Eyes was the one who couldn't find my vein last month (referenced in this post), and she's also the one who drew me last Tuesday and sparked a migraine (apparently the clinic was out of butterfly needles that day, so she had to use a torturous regular one on me).

This morning I said a little prayer before arriving to the clinic: Please let it be quick and as painless as possible. And please let Snake Eyes be off for the Holiday.

Well, one out of two ain't bad. Old Snake Eyes was there behind the glass partition, gossiping and complaining away about having to work (per her norm). Awesome. Please Snake Eyes, don't take it out on me! 

She also asks me EVERY TIME I go to the clinic if I've been there before. Apparently those Snake Eyes don't see so well (as evidenced in her vein finding abilities).

Thankfully she had a butterfly needle (she seemed annoyed when I asked), found my vein, and got to business quickly. No migraine! Much smoother this morning, but I am still seriously considering going to a different clinic for my next draw. With people who have normal eyes and might actually remember me.

I also noticed last night & this morning an early abundance of EWCM. I hardly ever get much naturally, much less on Day 9 of my cycle! It is an indication that those elevated estrogen levels are definitely cranking (and making me cranky).

So without further adieu, here is today's follicle role call (in millimeters), brought to you by the offices of Dr. Vaughn:

Right ovary: 7, 8, 11, 11, 12
Left ovary: 6, 6, 7, 7, 9, 10, 12, 12

Hmmm- I just noticed we had a couple side jumpers- still 13 follies, but the left ovary is taking the lead with an 8/5 split (8 total over there- my lucky number!) Hopefully there weren't an additional 2 missed on the right side....there were 7 there last Tuesday (where did they go?)

My follicles are distinguishing themselves into two groups- we have the three front-running 12mm babes, with the two 11mm close at their heels. Ideally, we want *only* the top 3 to release, hoping that 1, maybe 2, take.

                                                         Go top 3!!

The plan right now is to keep me on very low nightly Gonal-F doses (75ml/night), since I am having a good response. Dr. V says- and I quote- that he "doesn't want me to make National News." So slow and steady we go, with an estimated trigger date for mid/late next week. The office wants me back again Sunday for my next follow up (there go my brunch plans! Oh boy- early morning blood draws & doc visits, now spaced every TWO days. BC will surely sleep through them all).

At our Thanksgiving gathering yesterday, I treated all those who were interested to a Gonal-F administration viewing (my mom, aunt, and cousin partook- we squeezed it in between dinner and dessert). And at the end of the night, everyone sweetly said farewell to me and to my 13 eggs.

Little ones, we have a lot of folks rooting for you! Let's do this.

Injectables Day 3: Follicle Roll Call

Today I had my first day of Injectables appointments, starting with my favorite part- the blood draw (why oh why does this always hurt so much?).  For an extra special touch, I got a migraine immediately following the draw, likely b/c I didn't have much food in me. Hunger + pain proved to be a perfect festering ground.

Later in the afternoon I went for my sonogram with Dr. Vaughn. I was hoping to see 2-3 follicles developing nicely after 3 days of injections. As he moved the wand around, he started calling out follicle sizes (in millimeters). It went something like this:

Right ovary: 4, 6, 7, 7, 7, 8, 9
Left ovary: 4, 6, 7, 7, 8, 8

Ummm.... yeah, so that is THIRTEEN FOLLICLES if you are counting. Can you say Octomom?  Well, technically it would be Trideca-mom (and yes, I did have to look that up). Dr. V didn't seem alarmed at all- I guess in reality it isn't likely all of them will reach the monumental 20mm point, where we want them to be prior to triggering a release. But man- there are a lot of them on the upper end of the scale- jockeying for first place in the Great Release of 2011!

                                       If my ovaries were a chipmunk......


Check in again soon for another post about the CRAZY energy clearing session I had later on this evening. Me and my 13 incubating follicles now need some rest.