Thursday, March 29, 2012

5 Week Beta

Today I am 5 weeks pregnant. And today I got my 3rd beta draw. I told myself if the number was anything over 3700 I would be happy (3700 would be a healthy 48 hr doubling time from last week's 419). I could not WAIT for the nurse to call- a mix or nervousness and excitement brewing...

And.... my 5 week beta is:

8,398!! Progesterone 30. This little miracle bean continues to be a healthy fighter!! I pray that the growth continues toward seeing the little heartbeat in another 2 1/2 weeks. I am pretty nervous for that appointment, and working to stay hopeful that the miraculous nature of this pregnancy means this one is here to stay.

As far as symptoms go, more noticable fatigue set in yesterday... and my boobs are still extremely sore (though still not any bigger). I've also been voraciously hungry in the evenings. Despite the hunger, I have actually lost around 1.5lbs in the last week! I think the weight loss can be attributed to a mix between my body having a ramped up metabolism and the fact that I am no longer having cocktails (eliminating a lot of weekly calories).

And also? I am scared to have sex. Poor, poor BC.  Dr. Vaughn says it is fine to stay healthy in that department, but I am so worried it will cause spotting or cramping or other detriment to the little one. Sex can also trigger my migraines (which SUCKS)- and b/c I am not allowed to take anything for migraines right now, makes me even MORE hesitant. Boo. I don't think I can hold out too much longer though, and sooner or later will have to risk a splitting headache to keep that oh so important connection to BC. So next time you talk to me, if I mention I have a migraine you might just know why. ; )


Tuesday, March 27, 2012

These are the weeks of our lives

I always thought it was confusing when pregnant women spoke about how far along they were in terms of weeks.

"Oh you're pregnant! How far along are you?"

"14 weeks."

Cue me doing some really fast mental math-

"So you're 3 months?"

"Well, yes- but 3 months and two WEEKS."

I get it now. And because I am still so early in the journey, the weeks AND days make a big difference! Today I am considered 4 weeks, 5 days pregnant (if my conception date of March 8th is accurate. During the full moon- woot!) Every single week marks amazing development- especially in this early phase. For example, at week 4, the embryo looks a bit like this picture:

No bigger than the size of a poppy seed, this little one is going through incredible changes.

Then, just a week later, the embryo starts looking like a primitive shrimp- a fetus!

It is now the size of an orange seed, and it's little heart can be seen developing
 (though likely not heard yet).

It is still hard to fathom that I am really pregnant. I.AM.PREGNANT. My boobs are definitely telling me something is up (so sore- but no larger than normal yet- sorry BC!). I also have a constant feeling of pressure down on my lower left abdomen, and have definitely been making more trips to the bathroom & refrigerator.

I have another beta draw on Thursday to see my numbers, and I think in another 2 weeks (at 7 weeks gestation) I will get to have my first sonogram, where we pray to see a strong heartbeat! Can't wait for that appointment. Another 'two week wait,' but a much more fun one this round.

And for those of you who enjoy my "frou-frou" postings, here's one for you.

On Sunday afternoon I decided to take a brisk walk along the water in the spring sunshine. It was much warmer than I expected it to be, and at the end of the walk I sat down under a tree to stretch and mop the sweat from my brow. I did a brief meditation, and asked to connect to the energy of the little ones coming to us (I sense two of them- not necessarily both coming at the same time- now wouldn't THAT be a shock?!- but a 2nd one coming eventually).

I always feel the first little one's energy on my left side. I strongly suspect she is a girl, but time will tell! I felt her energy- and with it got an immediate wave of nausea. Awesome. That one has some powerful mojo! I would not be surprised at all if he/she came a little early & was a feisty Scorpio.

When I called in the energy of the other little one- always to my right, it was like a cool, calm, soothing blue/purple energy to balance out the fiery spiraling energy of the left. I then sensed them both dancing merrily around me- and immediately got an ocular migraine. So strange- often when I see my psychic friend Cristy I'll get an immediate ocular migraine, so not sure if that has to do with the strong psychic energy around? Or maybe I just overheated on my walk.

Note to self: no more calling in baby energy when overheated. Bad combo.


And here are my March Photos for days 25-27:

Day #25, "SPARKLE"

I dug out this necklace at the beginning of the month and have been wearing it ever since. I now consider it an absolute lucky charm! BC purchased it for me on a trip to Madison years ago, and if you look closely, you'll see a little fairy figure saddling 2 stone "eggs." I love it.

Day #26- "DRINK"

We started our first garden last Saturday! Here's BC giving our little baby plants a drink of water. Grow little ones, grow! Hoping they survive and thrive. We are total novices, and were just so excited the next day to see that the plants were actually still there. 

And lastly, Day #27- "FRESH"

I was driving through a residential Austin neighborhood the other day, and came upon an entire vacant lot filled with these gorgeous wildflowers! The first sign that spring is definitely here. The air was crisp and fresh with the smell of honeysuckle. 

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Babycakes Is Back

This past week has been quite an exciting one with our surprise pregnancy news. Tuesday morning when I took the home test & saw the strong positive, I could.not.wait to tell BC. He was upstairs finishing his morning yoga routine, and I felt like I was going to jump out of my skin waiting for him. When he finally stepped into the bathroom I immediately blurted out "we're pregnant!"- holding up the test as proof.


A moment of silent shock and disbelief followed before he picked me up to hug and kiss me sweetly, saying he has always known it would happen for us.

Then my sweet BC went away for a few days. He was having a rough week at work with lots of stress and bad news. He also indicated he wanted to reserve his enthusiasm for the pregnancy- that he preferred to be "cautiously" optimistic. I absolutely couldn't fault him for feeling that way- knowing how completely drained he was from the office. But admittedly it hurt my heart a little. I wanted him to be sharing in the joy of this absolutely amazing miracle! The more I talked about it, the more drained he seemed to be. I actually had to stop him at one point and ask point blank: "are you excited about this?" He assured me that ABSOLUTELY he was, and that he was just going to remain cautious until we were further along.

A long time ago BC told me he thought I'd "know" when we were really pregnant, given my strong intuition. And honestly- from the second I saw that 2nd line (yes, I was totally shocked at the timing) a peaceful sense washed over me. I felt giddy and excited, the core of my being feeling like this was 'it.' Yes, I know it is VERY early in the pregnancy, and yes, I know that the 12 week point is crucial, but I feel like I deserve to feel this joy. I want to savor this experience and not muddy it with fears and trepidation (an ongoing battle, believe me!) I sure do hope that this 'knowing' feeling is a good intuitive sign that our quest will result in bringing our baby home. I keep thinking about the fact that 3 of the psychics I spoke to in the last year all indicated they saw a baby coming home to us late this year, and how deeply a fall baby resonates with me.

And on Friday, BC came back to me.

He had worked from home that day, which always helps to balance out the stress of his day to day grind (I can totally relate- I choose to office from home as well precisely b/c it does help ground & balance the intrinsic stress of my job). We 'met up' in our living room at 5pm for date night, and my sweet sunshine boy was back! I could see it in his stature, his eyes, his smile- he was back to equilibrium, leaving his rough week behind.

We spent dinner actually talking about our child- about what features from each of us we hoped he/she would inherit (me- BC's lips, ears, big beautiful eyes, good hair, long legs, & relaxed attitude. He- my skin, eyelashes, & musical abilities- & his height & athletic talents). We both agreed what was most important was a healthy and happy child.

Connecting in this way absolutely melted me. Talking about our plans to parent, our hopes and dreams, our future- just cemented how blessed I feel. The most hilarious part of the talk? BC asking if we'd need to get a crib for the baby's room. Uh- yes, love. We probably will need to get one. Not quite yet, but yes. : )

Oh, how I love this boy!


Here are my March Photos for Days 23 & 24. Day 23's prompt is "MOVE:"

Scenes from a bike ride to downtown. We love being so close to everything! 
(and I could totally use a tan)

Day #24's prompt is "HUG:"

Sweet Sam Johnson- my constant cuddler

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Oh, You Too? In which I find a friend at the blood station

This morning while awaiting my turn for a beta blood draw, I couldn't help but think the girl sitting two seats down from me looked familiar. Apparently this familiarity went both ways- as I tried to bury my head in a Words With Friends round, she turned to me and asked "don't I know you from somewhere? What is your name?" Feeling a bit exposed (is this someone who should know I am here? That I am newly pregnant? Oh God) I quietly relinquished my name. She quickly called out how we knew each other- through a mutual friend- and thus the connection was made.

Ironically she was giving blood b/c she too had just found out she was pregnant! And she too had "let loose" during the previous two weeks, not thinking this would be 'the' month (did I mention our baby was conceived on gallons of queso and way-too-embarrassingly-many Irish Car Bombs?) So there it was- the infertility community shrinking even further. I was honestly so happy to make the connection, knowing that now I had another cycle buddy here in town.

I also re-realized today how many psychic abilities run in my family. My cousin- who is 3 months pregnant and was like a sister to me growing up- called me practically in tears today, saying she KNEW that I would be announcing a pregnancy soon (well, I hadn't really announced, but our moms are sisters and best friends, and news travels quickly between the aunties!). She just KNEW it, with every ounce of her body, and was so excited that this premonition had come true. Whoa.

Another cousin of mine -who had dreamed about our first pregnancy (she literally called to tell me about that dream the day we found out we were pregnant last December- before anyone knew!)- had been trying to call me last week while we were in Wimberley. I called her today to share our news- and led in by asking "have any more dreams lately?" To which she replied "yes! That is why I was trying to call you last week! I dreamed that you and I were visiting our other cousin's baby (the one who is 3 months pregnant) and you were also pregnant, saying how excited you were for your babies to grow up and be able to play together." Double whoa. I love that stuff!

And.....I just got a call from Dr. Vaughn's office. At 14dpo, my beta is:


It was only 28 at this time the month we miscarried. They want to see your beta at least double every 48 hours- mine quadrupled!! The nurse said "Dr. Vaughn is very pleased with those numbers." Damn straight, Dr. V!! YAY! Sweet, sweet miracle baby.


I have some catching up to do on my March Photo Challenge!

Here is my picture for Day #20's prompt- BUTTON:

No, that isn't a pregnant pouch already. If I am not in my stretchy woobie pants while at my desk, I always have to unbutton whatever jeans I am wearing. Comfort first!

Day # 21- TREAT:

I took this on my walk yesterday. We are lucky enough to have Austin's hike and bike trail start right in our cul-de-sac, and I feel so blessed by the proximity to nature. A true treat.

And lastly, Day #22- MARKET:

Scenes from the Wimberley Antique Market. I will be the first to admit I love dolls- (we have a collection of my childhood buddies hanging out in our guest room closet- much to BC's dismay)- however, this compilation of Chuckie's sister & the scary bear with cabbage patch arms really freaked me out.

Thanks also to all the folks visiting my site from the "International Comment Leaving Week" (ICLW) event! I have been loving and appreciating your comments AND getting to know you through your own blogs & stories. Welcome!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012


Babycakes and I got home from Wimberely this past Monday, after having rented out our house for 9 nights to SXSW (South by Southwest) festival folk. The oddest thing I found upon our return? A pair of mens' boxer shorts stuffed behind a pillow on our couch. Ewww. But if that is the worst of it, I think we did OK.

BC and I are so happy to be home. We both agreed the energy was "off" during our trip- we were bickering much more than normal, and just not in the groove together. Apparently we are NOT meant to be country folk.

There might also be another reason why I was more grumpy & emotional than normal:

Holy S***.  I tested on a total whim Tuesday morning, and to my surprise there it was- a VERY strong positive smiling back at me. My reaction? Immediately crumpling to the ground in full body tingles, disbelief, and a few choked back sobs.

A total surprise, natural BFP. No interventions and with 2 cysts from last month's injectables. And with 'baked' eggs from my high body temps. Apparently "The Great Healing" earlier this month had some mad powers, and I truly think we have a miracle baby on our hands.

When I called in to Dr. Vaughn's office, the nurse sounded extremely surprised to hear the news (what? you got pregnant by yourself?), and emailed me a lab slip to get my beta numbers. I was a little nervous to see what the numbers came back at, since last December, at 14dpo, my HCG was only 28 and resulted in a chemical pregnancy.

This beta, at 12dpo?

108! An amazingly strong, healthy number (our photo prompt today is "Numbers,"so I've blended this prompt with my BFP pic). We have a fiesty fighter on our hands!

I have such a sense of calm, peace, and elated excitement all stirring within me. I am SO incredibly hopeful, given our entire journey, that this is the forever baby we'll be taking home on or around November 29th (2012- yay!) I just love that we are due around Thanksgiving- seems so appropriate.

For now, I am just going to enjoy of being pregnant. I know there is a long road ahead, but can't help having that "meant to be" feeling surrounding this pregnancy's circumstances (almost 3 years of 'trying,' including countless IUIs, clomid, injectables, etc- then immediately after The Great Healing -BAM!).

Little One, you are SO loved and SO wanted, and I appreciate the lessons of patience & releasing control you have already taught me so much about. I promise to stay connected to my intuition & my body during this journey. Thank you for choosing us!

Just noticed this posted at 1:08! Auspicious number indeed. Love that.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Stretch (March Photo Challenge, Day 18)

I was relaxing at home yesterday when Irene, the woman who cleans our cottages, came by. Making polite conversation, we chatted for awhile, leading up to the inevitable question of whether BC and I had any kids?

"Uh, not yet.... we're working on that. How about you?" 

"Well, I lost 2 babies. I tried to have children for years, then lost one when I was 3 months pregnant. Seven years later I lost another pregnancy very early, then wasn't ever able to get pregnant again."

Awkward silence as I contemplate how to respond.

"Well, actually BC and I have been trying ourselves for almost 3 years, and just lost a pregnancy in December. I totally understand the journey."

"I lost both my pregnancies in December too!"

And thus the sisterhood of infertility continues, reminding me again how unexpectedly extensive this community is.  Every woman has a story, and behind every woman's story is immense strength.

Speaking of women's stories, remember my friend who got pregnant last November on her first IVF cycle, that sadly became an ectopic pregnancy? This lady has truly been through the ringer- not only did she have a rough initial go of it, but she and her husband were having to pay for every procedure completely out of pocket, and this fertility stuff sure ain't cheap. 

She was finally cleared to have her FET (frozen embryo transfer) at the beginning of this month, and just learned that she is PREGNANT! And her numbers are amazing. Whereas in November her first beta was on the low side at 38, this time around her first draw came in at 535, her 2nd at 1214!! We are all wondering if there might be two little ones cooking in there, given the strong HCG levels. Please send prayers her way for a healthy pregnancy.

The interesting thing is, when she first found out that IVF was her and her husband's only option to have children, I had a very vivid dream. In the dream, she was very pregnant, and I either wasn't pregnant yet, or was not showing yet. After her miscarriage last November, I then got pregnant in December, and wondered about the validity of the dream. Then I too miscarried, and now she is back to blazing the trail, carrying the pregnancy torch for us- and I sincerely hope our good news is on its way as well. 


And for today's photo challenge subject, "Stretch," I bring you morning yoga with BC & Mr. Otis:

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Green! (March Photo Challenge, Day 17)

I have been surrounded by all things green on this trip, so was excited that this was the subject of today's photo challenge.

On Friday, I left Old Man Jones BC behind and headed into town for a solo hike along the Cypress Creek. I love how this particular hiking path is right in the middle of downtown, yet feels miles away from any civilization. Pure bliss.

 I found a cozy place to perch along the creek, where the water was rushing by in roaring rapids. All the rain we've been getting has greatly helped this little creek's water levels!

I also discovered an amazing tree whose bark was slowly but surely 'molting,' leaving behind beautiful, artistic grooves (sadly I think the tree might be dead/dying, but what an amazing shell it is leaving behind):

BC and I headed into downtown San Marcos yesterday afternoon to partake in the St. Patty's Day festivities. The folks at Palmer's did not disappoint- every single drink that came out was- you guessed it- green:

And upon returning home, we found Mr. Otis perched at the cottage window- flirting and meeping back and forth with his new country girlfriend:

'Hey pretty thang, you should come check out my pad in Austin sometime!'

Today is our last full day in Wimberley. BC hobbled headed into town for a round of golf, while I plan to just lounge around with the kitties all day- reading, drawing, napping- luxuriating in the quiet and solitude before we return to the buzz of our active daily lives tomorrow.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Wimberley Mornings (March Photos, Day #16)

The photo prompt for day #16 of this month's challenge is "Morning."

Mornings in Wimberley have been quiet, slow, & gentle. I've been getting up earlier than I normally would on vacation in order to partake in the delicious 9am breakfasts our B&B provides:

Eggs, crispy bacon, & coffee every morning with the occasional pancake treat!

Seems the boys are enjoying their lazy mornings at the Watermelon Cottage as well:

Keeping their eyes peeled for new friends- 
which include several meandering peacocks & 2 neighbor kitties.

Also? My Hill Country hair has been OUT.OF.CONTROL. I'm not sure if it is the water or the weather out here, but I have been rockin' some seriously kinky mullet-esque hair:

Not sure this even qualifies as business in front....

Unfortunately this kinky hair isn't just a morning problem- I've been plugging in my hair iron no less than 4x/day in an attempt to tame this wild beast. It will smooth out temporarily, then return within the hour to its unruly state. *sigh*

Babycakes and I have a new crush on a nearby city called San Marcos, which is only 20 minutes from our cottage. Last night was our 2nd trip in to explore this adorable college town, and we discovered an A-mazing restaurant called Palmer's. It is a quaint, hip, & beautiful spot with so many unique sections to sit and enjoy specialty cocktails & incredible food. BC and I started at their groovy bar, partaking in the happy hour specials with Mexican Martinis & queso. We then moved to the outdoor garden area for dinner, and finished up back inside snuggling on some vintage couches for a nightcap.

This was about the time BC was over my taking pictures of him (this may have been the 10th-11th shot of him on the couch? What can I say- when I see excellent lighting and a cute boy, I go crazy).

Happy St. Patty's Day, Dear Readers! Hope you're wearing a bit of green today. BC and I plan to head back into San Marcos to this pub and perhaps indulge in a little of this:

Oh Irish Car Bombs- how do you magically mix to taste like a chocolate shake? 


Thursday, March 15, 2012

Old Man Jones (March Photos, Days 13-15)

Babycakes and I set out yesterday for our first official Wimberley hike. The plan was to drive to Canyon Lake and hike the beautiful trails that trace the water. BC brought his walking stick- "Lee Hunt"- (story on that here from BC's blog) to help navigate the rocky terrain.

Not even 5 minutes into our hike, Old Man Jones showed up.

Old Man Jones is a moniker we've given to BC, teasing him about our 5 year age difference (he is 5 years my senior and as such, obviously robbing the cradle). We were just approaching the point where the trail opened up toward the lake, when BC's calf muscle gave out. This is an unfortunate recurring injury which most often occurs when BC runs. Clutching Lee Hunt for dear life, Old Man Jones announced we would need to abandon the hike.

Not to be deterred from our Canyon Lake adventure, we decided that in lieu of hiking, we'd head down for some Bloody Marys at The Lucky Sailor Oyster Bar, whose sign purported they were open 'ALL YEAR ROUND!' Upon arrival, another sign greeted us: CLOSED FOR THE WINTER. Really? It's mid-March in TEXAS, people- and 80 degrees.

Re-naming the area CAN'T-yon Lake, we decided adventuring here was not meant to be, and retreated back to the cottage.

Good thing for us we are really good at doing a whole 'lotta nothing. We've been enjoying lazy, lazy days with the kitties in our cottage- reading, writing, doing yoga (well, not Old Man Jones)- then heading into town each night for dinner.

Last night's dinner was especially memorable. We headed to downtown Wimberley to try out Linda's Fine Foods,  choosing to sit outdoors at a picnic table & enjoy the gorgeous weather. I immediately noticed the diners at the table behind BC. Without him having any idea what was going on, I carefully framed & designed my shot, asking him to smile. Here's what resulted- my pick for Photo #14's prompt, DESIGN:

'Cracking' up at BC's oblivion, haha

Wimberley is also known for its plethora of adorable downtown shops, and BC and I have enjoyed perusing the stores, hunting for new treasures to help build up the character of our home.  For Photo #15- BUILD- I took a picture of some groovy light sconces that really got my creative juices flowing:

We are definitely loving our time here in the Hill Country- exploring the neighboring cities (we've hit New Braunfels and San Marcos in addition to Wimberley). However, Austin will always be our One True Love, and being away from it definitely makes our hearts grow fonder. 

In conclusion, and representing Photo #13- GLOW- I bring you our beloved Austin at sunset, as seen last week from the patio of one of our favorite wine bars, Uncorked:

Don't worry Dear City of ours, we'll be home soon!

Monday, March 12, 2012

Writings from Wimberley (March Photos, Days 10-12)

Babycakes, the cats, & I arrived safely to Wimberley Saturday night. Sam Johnson howled the entire car ride- didn't help that we were driving through torrential rains. Eventually I was able to turn up the radio loud enough to drown out poor Sam's pleas.

We are staying at the "Watermelon Cottage" at the Highpoint Manor Inn B&B. It definitely lives up to the name- there are watermelon chachkas everywhere you turn! Plates, pictures, tablecloths, baskets, you name it- it has a watermelon on it. We laid down a watermelon drop cloth on our couch, lest Mr. Otis decide to pee make himself at home.

 Who me? Pee? Never.

Sam Johnson in the country, howling no more.

Our cottage also seems to be built  for dwarfs people my size. The shower head barely reaches the top of my 5'2 head, and I can just see the upper part of my face in the bathroom mirror. Based on this, I bring you Photo #10 of the March Photo Challenge, "LOVE:"

My sweet, sweet 6'4 BC- who has to stoop way down to look in our cottage mirror.
 Adorable for me, not so awesome for him.

Our cottage community could also double as a bona-fide farm! So many animals all over the property. BC and I have been loving visiting them, and learning some of their silly names. So for my Day #11 photo prompt, "LIVING," I bring you our menagerie of new friends:

 This Alpaca was absolutely stunning, and one of my favorites.

 I've also discovered I LOVE donkeys!

 Lucky for us, it is mating season for these beautiful peacocks. 
This fella was pulling out all the stops to attract the ladies.

Peacock butt! Also surprisingly pretty.

 Feeding frenzy. Hay= instant best friends.

 This chicken took her hairstyle cues from Tina Turner

 Hi Mr. Parrot!

Daisy May- one of the most ancient pigs I've ever met 
(ancient being 14 years old)

Yesterday BC and I took a trip into town to stock up on groceries (downtown Wimberely has only 3 stoplights! Blink and you could miss it). We'd agreed to each cook a meal at our cottage home this week, and last night was my turn. I purchased some cod fillets, Cajun seasoned breading, & spinach to saute.

As I've said before, I am not the most adept in the kitchen. However, I've cooked this meal before, and felt confident going into the challenge. What I had not anticipated were the extremely poor tools I had to cook with. There were a total of two cooking pans to choose from, both very cheap with a convex shape- where any oil & ingredients oozed to the edge perimeter of the pan, leaving everything in the center dry & on high heat. I also had an electric stove to work with, another foreign cooking concept.

The meal was an absolute disaster.

The coating on the fish burned quickly & stuck to the pan, smoke funneling up throughout the cottage. Not wanting to set the Watermelon Cottage on fire, I removed the fish from the heat. Unfortunately it still wasn't cooked through the center. BC was sweet and ate his piece anyway- I, however, took one bite and literally spit it out. It was disgusting and one of the worst things I think I've ever prepared. 

Behold- the beauty of putting me in charge of dinner, and Day #12's prompt "EAT." I think the watermelon plate adds a nice touch. Bon appetite!

Friday, March 9, 2012

The Great Healing (March Photos: Days 6-9)

Have you ever had a day where the universe smacks you in the face with a lesson? (warning- frou-frou post ahead)

That was my Wednesday.

Admittedly at the beginning of this month I was gung-ho to move immediately ahead with another injectables cycle. More hormones. More interventions. Telling myself that *obviously!* this was the only means by which I might achieve a pregnancy.

When I got the news that I had 2 cysts that would prevent me from injectables this month, I was extremely saddened & disappointed. It was a very lonely, lost feeling to not know where to turn next. Even my pulse turned "superficial" and unrooted.

That's when I had the revolutionary idea to turn to myself- to ask that still, small voice deep inside: what is the best thing for ME?

I was immediately overcome with the sense that I was not ready to do another surgery (though I've waffled back and forth on that a lot this past week), and that my body needed some time off from hormones & interventions. Along those lines, the other strong instincts that came to me:

*Shifting from Pilates back to yoga
When I met BC years ago, I was doing a regular Ashtanga Yoga practice. We shared a love of the practice that continued for our first few years together. More recently I have transitioned into Pilates, for its benefits in strengthening my core & my back. This week, however, that voice inside nudged me back toward yoga; toward a practice that encourages stretching, lengthening, opening, breathing, vs one that focuses on tightening and constricting (to a soundtrack of loud, fun, busy 80's music no less).

*Getting even healthier in my nutrition
I eat quite healthfully in my day to day life, but there is always room for more fruits & veggies, and continuing to limit adult beverages to only a few times/week. I will also continue to have green tea in lieu of coffee, with the occasional decaf cappuccino as a treat.

*Making time for nature
Being out in nature always soothes & relaxes me. It has a transformational, rejuvenating effect on my entire being. We are fortunate enough to live right near Austin's Lady Bird Lake, so just walking along the water & then laying down under a tall tree can re-set & heal my nervous system.

Back to Wednesday.

I had planned to meet Cristy (my clairvoyant friend who I check in with about the future little ones) for coffee & a mini session. I lamented to her how 'off' my body was this month (high temperatures, no positive OPK surge), likely from the hormones. How I felt like my entire natural system had been overridden and was now at the mercy of medical science.

Cristy worked with me on understanding that the past (almost 3!) years of trying to get pregnant have been a learning journey. Her sense (that resonated deeply within me) was that this journey is largely about my learning to trust myself. Really believe in my body & my ability to conceive. Release fear surrounding fertility and replace that fear with pure divine light. Work to truly love myself and appreciate my body. Her sense was that our little one was waiting for me to "get" these lessons. As she said that, another thought immediately came to me: this little one was wanting to be conceived through the deep connection between BC and I, vs. through a doctor's syringe. BC and I have been experiencing a beautiful, deep connection this month- emotionally and physically- just really enjoying one another and what we've built together.

I left my time with Cristy feeling very centered, rooted, clear. Feeling a deep shift inside toward taking some time to just get back to the basics- to my connection with myself and with BC, and see what might come of that.

And you know what happened that afternoon?

A POSITIVE OPK SURGE. No joke. Ok, universe- I'm getting it.

Then you know what else happened?

I got a letter from our insurance company saying we were approved for In-Network coverages for an IVF cycle. How about that timing? I've been around the block long enough to know that when there is a deep life lesson at hand the universe will test you left and right surrounding that lesson. So here I was, all hippied out in my plan to take time off and commune with nature & BC, when medical science sent a big red banner: COME BACK! YOU NEED US! HOW COMMITTED ARE YOU REALLY TO THAT DEEP INTUITION INSIDE?

And you know what I did?

Yoga. Then BC. ; )


And here is my catch up session with photos 6-9 for this month, all beautifully related to this post:

Combined Day 6: Challenge, and Day 7: Purple
 Back to the good 'ole purple yoga mat. My challenge? 
Truly listing to my heart, which includes the shift back into yoga.

Day 8: Heal
 Nature always has the ability to deeply heal me. Every time I look at this picture I immediately take a deep breath- feeling the warm sunshine streaming down through the cool, crisp air.

Day 9: Soft
I am obsessed with clouds. LOVE THEM. Every kind. I actually took an Atmospheric and Oceanic Sciences course in college just so I could study clouds. These are deliciously soft alto-cumulus puffs.

Tomorrow we leave for 9 nights at our rented 1 bedroom cottage in Wimberley, on 35 acres of beautiful, pristine nature.

I'll be bringing the yoga mat.

Monday, March 5, 2012

March Photo Challenge, Days 3-5

What a gorgeous weekend (and Monday) we are having here in Austin! Perfectly idyllic weather- sunny, breezy, 70 degree heaven. Babycakes was out of town this weekend, so I took the opportunity to have some good girl time with a couple of my besties- including evening margaritas and morning brunches.

I have a little catching up to do on my March Photo Challenge! 
Here are days 3-5: 

Day 3: "Domestic"
This is how I found BC after a long day working in the yard

Day 4: "Illuminate"
 This shot was a complete accident! We were in our NYC hotel elevator, where I was turning on the camera for another shot. Apparently the camera took a bonus shot, which was discovered later while going through pictures.

Day 5: "Commute"
No two days' commute is ever the same in the Real Estate world.  I office from home, but am out and about on appointments all day long. This shot was taken while seeing acreage property up in Georgetown. My client (shown above) and I met a friend while meandering down a long country driveway. Ms. Donkey was happy to have visitors!

Over the weekend I also decided I was ready to move forward with scheduling another laparoscopic surgery. I feel like my body needs a few months off of hormones to recover and get in tip top shape, so it makes sense during the down time to also get cleaned out inside. Unfortunately, I just found out Dr. Vaughn is booked out quite a ways, with the end of April being the soonest I could schedule. That is another 2 cycles away!