Saturday, March 24, 2012

Babycakes Is Back

This past week has been quite an exciting one with our surprise pregnancy news. Tuesday morning when I took the home test & saw the strong positive, I could.not.wait to tell BC. He was upstairs finishing his morning yoga routine, and I felt like I was going to jump out of my skin waiting for him. When he finally stepped into the bathroom I immediately blurted out "we're pregnant!"- holding up the test as proof.


A moment of silent shock and disbelief followed before he picked me up to hug and kiss me sweetly, saying he has always known it would happen for us.

Then my sweet BC went away for a few days. He was having a rough week at work with lots of stress and bad news. He also indicated he wanted to reserve his enthusiasm for the pregnancy- that he preferred to be "cautiously" optimistic. I absolutely couldn't fault him for feeling that way- knowing how completely drained he was from the office. But admittedly it hurt my heart a little. I wanted him to be sharing in the joy of this absolutely amazing miracle! The more I talked about it, the more drained he seemed to be. I actually had to stop him at one point and ask point blank: "are you excited about this?" He assured me that ABSOLUTELY he was, and that he was just going to remain cautious until we were further along.

A long time ago BC told me he thought I'd "know" when we were really pregnant, given my strong intuition. And honestly- from the second I saw that 2nd line (yes, I was totally shocked at the timing) a peaceful sense washed over me. I felt giddy and excited, the core of my being feeling like this was 'it.' Yes, I know it is VERY early in the pregnancy, and yes, I know that the 12 week point is crucial, but I feel like I deserve to feel this joy. I want to savor this experience and not muddy it with fears and trepidation (an ongoing battle, believe me!) I sure do hope that this 'knowing' feeling is a good intuitive sign that our quest will result in bringing our baby home. I keep thinking about the fact that 3 of the psychics I spoke to in the last year all indicated they saw a baby coming home to us late this year, and how deeply a fall baby resonates with me.

And on Friday, BC came back to me.

He had worked from home that day, which always helps to balance out the stress of his day to day grind (I can totally relate- I choose to office from home as well precisely b/c it does help ground & balance the intrinsic stress of my job). We 'met up' in our living room at 5pm for date night, and my sweet sunshine boy was back! I could see it in his stature, his eyes, his smile- he was back to equilibrium, leaving his rough week behind.

We spent dinner actually talking about our child- about what features from each of us we hoped he/she would inherit (me- BC's lips, ears, big beautiful eyes, good hair, long legs, & relaxed attitude. He- my skin, eyelashes, & musical abilities- & his height & athletic talents). We both agreed what was most important was a healthy and happy child.

Connecting in this way absolutely melted me. Talking about our plans to parent, our hopes and dreams, our future- just cemented how blessed I feel. The most hilarious part of the talk? BC asking if we'd need to get a crib for the baby's room. Uh- yes, love. We probably will need to get one. Not quite yet, but yes. : )

Oh, how I love this boy!


Here are my March Photos for Days 23 & 24. Day 23's prompt is "MOVE:"

Scenes from a bike ride to downtown. We love being so close to everything! 
(and I could totally use a tan)

Day #24's prompt is "HUG:"

Sweet Sam Johnson- my constant cuddler


  1. I can relate very much to your husbands cautious optimism, although I wish I related more to you. We just had a surprise positive after 3 mcs.

    My mom gave me a very good piece of advice today:

    "Borrowing sorrow or stress from tomorrow, won't deplete the supply, so don't let today's joy spoil."

    Wishing you the best.

    1. Love that quote! Might have to borrow it... Or make it my new mantra!!!

  2. Here from ICLW. Totally understand being cautious. We're still waiting for our miracle to stick, so each time I see those two lines I hold my breath. Love your hug picture!

  3. Hi! Here from ICLW. Warmest congrats on your BFP!!!! I think I'd feel the same way when confronted with my husband's less than exuberant initial response, but totally get his cautious optimism, too. So funny that he asked if you'd need to get a crib:) men are too cute sometimes! Anyway, so very happy for you and wishing you all the best for a safe and healthy pregnancy!

  4. here via ICLW and just wanted to say that i just love the sweetness and excitement you have for your little one and hope you are able to stay positive and excited through most of this pregnancy. glad that your hubby has let his guard down, too, and that you were able to talk about your baby <3