Like a Prayer

Life is a mystery, everyone must stand alone.
I hear you call my name and it feels like
Home.

When you call my name, it's like a little
Prayer. I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you
there. In the midnight hour, I can feel your
Power. Just like a prayer, you know I'll take you there


(Madonna's "Like a Prayer")


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This month I was hopeful. 


I keep a "DPO Symptoms List" that was added to daily.


I spent evenings perusing websites such as this, looking for encouragement. ('I had spotting on CD's 8 and 10 too! Oooo, I also had AF like cramping! This might be it!')


I even looked up what our child's estimated due date would be. July 27th, 2012. A Leo baby, which seemed oh so fitting for how this little one's feisty personality has been described by the clairvoyant folk I've talked to.


I communed with a friend of mine who is going through an IVF cycle and on the exact same cycle, timing wise, as me (shout out to Ms. 32 eggs, 26 of which fertilized, 2 of which were implanted! Here's hoping you get to carry the torch for us this month).


So last night before bed I said a little prayer. "Please give me a sign that our little one is coming. Something. A dream, a message, anything to re-assure me."


And you know what I got? 


Blinding cramps at 12am (in the midnight hour, I could feel it's power), followed by bleeding this morning. How's THAT for a sign?! There's nothing clearer than one's monthly cycle  to send the message "IT AIN'T YOUR MONTH." Noted, Universe. Noted.


Going in for my baseline with Dr. Vaughn this afternoon, where I"ll be whistling away:


Hi ho, Hi ho
It's on to Injectables I go
(whistles)

Hi ho, Hi ho
Hi ho, Hi ho
Hi ho, Hi ho