Monday, December 29, 2014

Wait Listed

Remember the IVF Study I learned about in October? I finally decided to go all in and participate with my late December/early January cycle. BC and I planned ahead with our upcoming schedules (this sucker takes at least 6 weeks), and attended the mandatory IVF Orientation session with my clinic. During this session, The Study was briefly mentioned, along with the caveat that there is often a wait list.

Say what?

The study coordinator I'd been emailing with had never mentioned a wait list. I had naively assumed that once we were ready, they'd be ready for us.

After the orientation I sent an email to the coordinator (who ONLY communicates through sporadic email, which can be frustrating to say the least). Through a string of responses, I learned that if my cycle started December 31st or after, I could proceed with The Study for January. Anytime before that? Wait listed. Absolutely no exceptions (I pestered her quite a bit on this). I knew my cycle would be arriving sometime in the December 27th-29th range- which meant that because of a few days' discrepancy, I'd be on the sidelines for several months, due to a 10 day trip we have planned mid-March (did I mention this sucker takes at least 6 weeks?)


I'm trying real hard to go into my Frou with this, trusting that things happen for a reason and perhaps now was not the right time for this. BC also came down with the flu on Christmas and has been completely down for the count, meaning I've been single parenting it for almost 4 days now. That would have made for a lot of challenges with getting his final blood & semen screening done, and my having the ability to go out for necessary monitoring appointments.

I did head out this morning to complete all of my blood work screening (which included 2 needle pokes and 7 vials of blood!). I want to have ALL of our ducks in a row and be fully pre-screened for when we are ready- schedule wise- to move ahead with everything. At this point it probably will be mid to late spring, and there are no guarantees The Study will still be going on at that time. I'll have to just trust that things will work out one way or another.

And in other Frou news? I've started to finally 'hear' another little one (I know that sounds crazy, but I felt I 'knew' Iyla for a couple years before she even came… complete with her being very feminine & feisty, and telling me she was planning to be 'beautiful' in this life. Ha). I've been a little concerned with the timing of my interventions lately given I haven't been 'hearing' another little one… but in the last month it's like he came flying in. Of course time will tell if my intuitions are correct, but for now I am feeling a little boy (!) who is coming to bring 'joy' to the family. He is light and funny and jolly, and has a tendency to storm forward and into things without a lot of thought. Social and charismatic. And I think I know his name too- on a recent visit to our beloved Driskill Hotel there was a ballroom we'd never noticed before that had a large banner of a name on it- and that name hit me like a ton of bricks and just felt right. 

Time will tell. For now, the Frou is again helping calm my heart and soul as I wade through the frustrations & sorrow that this infertility journey brings.

And now, we wait….


  1. That is so exciting, that you hear your babies before they arrive! And so fun to already have a meaningful name picked out! Did your period start then? I'm assuming it did, you Prob went for day 2-3 blood work?

    It will all work out! Sounds like you are ready!!

    1. Yep- cycle started with searing cramps Christmas Day Eve, full on on the 26th. Short luteal this round- only 10 days! And yes- CD 3 blood work (along with Prolactin draw & infectious disease screening).

  2. Sorry you had to be single parenting and deal with terrible cramps (plus sick husband) all at the same time :( But it is cool that you "hear" your babies before they come... What does Frou mean?

    1. "Frou" is my unique and made up term for those things other-worldly/ethereal… in the line of my psychic visits & ramblings. : )