Saturday, February 11, 2017

Jammed and Tired

BC and I were talking the other night about what a toll kids have on us physically. He's been suffering from tennis elbow due to carrying our Giant Baby around, and I've got the whole gamut of postpartum fun:

*Hair loss & increased graying of hair
*Extra weight (and clothes not quite fitting right)
*Continual hip issues (on days my hips feel normal I'll go for a walk, then without fail that walk messes them up again)
*Constant fatigue

And now, adding to this list, I have the pleasure of a jammed (or sprained? strained?) thumb. I'm pretty sure the injury occurred during Eloise's first swim lesson, as holding a Giant Baby throughout a 30 minute lesson is NOT for the weak of thumb.

Me: 0
Giant Baby: 1

It turns out being able to use one's (dominant) thumb is critically important in ways I hadn't realized, such as:

*Twisting baby bottle tops on and off
*Brushing teeth
*Pushing the home button on a phone
*Doing a child's hair
*Wiping one's bottom, or someone else's bottom
*Holding a Giant Baby and switching said baby from side to side for nursing
*Undoing the clasps on a nursing bra
*Undoing the back of a pumping bra
*Squeezing ANYTHING (toothpaste, face wash, dish soap, diaper cream, etc)
*Using a pen or pencil
*Turning a key in a lock or ignition
*Turning a deadbolt

To add insult to injury, last month in a Feng Shui induced frenzy I deep cleaned all of our bathroom cabinets and in the purge threw out both of the thumb/wrist splints I had stored from back in my Mommy Thumb days.


This did NOT bode well for my hoarder-esque personality, as now I am seriously cursing that cleaning purge and questioning what else I might be throwing out that down the road might be necessary (because isn't having 50+ gift bags stored away absolutely necessary?).

On top of the jammed thumb, I've also been SO TIRED this week due to the Giant Baby starting to sleep through the night.

That may seem ironic, given "sleeping through the night" typically means, well, everyone is sleeping through the night. However, Eloise's "sleeping through the night" equates to sleeping 7:30pm-5:30am.


A time at which I fully believe no normally functioning human should be awake, at least not in this family.

Work that coffee cup kid! We both need it with these early morning wake-ups.

So the other night I decided to fight fire with fire and put myself to sleep at 8:15pm.

Yes, 8:15pm. Desperate times, you know?

I was 4 hours into this blissful head start on my night's sleep when I was SCARED SH**LESS startled by a small human standing beside my bed, stating through tears that her knee hurt.


After comforting, medicine, & putting her back to bed, I finally climbed into bed ready to get back to my beauty sleep.

Not so much.

That little human reappeared 15 minutes later saying that she now had to go potty. Ironically enough, BC had JUST given her a flashlight earlier that evening toward helping with this sort of thing, speaking in earnest with her about being able to use it to take herself to the bathroom at night. And as we groggily made our way to her bathroom together, she cheerfully remarked: "good thing I have my flashlight so WE can see!"

Us: 0
Tiny Human: 1

Then there was much comforting & re-settling her into bed AGAIN.

Aaaaaaand, 15 minutes later she reappeared by my side, saying that she missed me.

Very sweet, but NOOOOOO.

 It's a good thing she is SO CUTE. I mean c'mon, braids and dinosaurs? 
Fine. You can get up all night long.

We then commenced 2 more hours of snuggling and trying to sleep together in my bed (lest she keep coming back in)- which historically NEVER works for either of us and proved yet again true.

Eventually I was able to convince the tiny human to go back to sleep in her own bed and happily returned to mine, only to be awaken 2 hours later- promptly at 5:30am- by the Giant Baby.

Me: 0
Giant Baby: 2

SO TIRED. And my thumb hurts.

***UPDATE: The tiny human is actually sick, as upon school pick up yesterday was complaining of body aches & running a 102+ temp. Poor buddy! Now it's all hands (minus a thumb) on deck to make sure the rest of the family stays healthy and (knocking on wood) mostly rested.

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