Monday, December 5, 2011

Even Miss Priss is Pregnant

                          Sometimes it feels like the whole world is pregnant.

I had another breakdown last night. One where I felt fully and completely like an overemotional a**hole.

Babycakes's sister had left him a voicemail on Thanksgiving, "just checking in" and wishing us a Happy Thanksgiving. Super sweet!

Then last night BC and I were watching a movie. I left for maybe 5 minutes to run downstairs, and when I returned, I had a voicemail from his sister, "just checking in." He had apparently also just gotten a voicemail from her. Super sweet! Super suspect.

I just knew.

I told BC he had to be the one to call her back, because I didn't think I"d be composed enough to receive the news. I was already crying with the anticipation. Sure enough, she is pregnant. 12 weeks along. They weren't trying, but weren't preventing. BC was amazing on the phone as I silently sobbed nearby.

It was at this sisters' wedding 2 1/2 years ago that we first didn't 'prevent.' I remember it vividly- having that flash of magical excitement, thinking we were on the road to starting our family.

I feel like I am at an insanely heightened emotional place right now (Gonal-F hormone override anyone?!). This marks two Sundays in a row we've gotten pregnancy news that knocked me down. I felt like such a jerk crying last night. I feel like a jerk being nervous for the Holidays with BC's family, when everyone will be fawning over his sister's pregnancy. Where our not being pregnant yet will be the big fat Elephant in the Room. And yes, of COURSE my rational self is thrilled for my sister-in-law! Definitely time for a new gang of little ones in the family, and she and her husband are going to make the most amazing parents. But that rational self still couldn't corral the tears and the persistent question of "when will it be our time?"

This morning as BC was leaving for work, he peeked his head back inside and told me to come look at Miss Priss (our moniker for the neighbor's feisty kitten who likes to hang out in our yard). Sure enough her belly was suspiciously distended and swollen, teats protruding. Totally pregnant.

I bet she wasn't trying either.

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