Going to attempt to start recording some interesting conversations I've been having with Iyla as of late, as my memory is terrible and these are too good to let fall into the ethers.
Two days ago when I picked Iyla up from school, she asked (seemingly out of nowhere):
"Where is Sam?"
Me: "Sam our kitty?"
I: "Yes."
M: "He died, sweetie. His body got very old and it was time for him to die"
I: "Oh. What day did I die?"
M: "Sweetie you haven't died yet."
(Interrupting me with impatience and urgency)
I: "No Mama, what DAY did I die?"
M: "Sweet girl- I can tell you are feeling frustrated because you want Mama to answer a certain way. Can you be so patient while I try to explain?"
(Nods head)
M: "You haven't died yet. You are a human, and humans can live a very long time. You are 3 years old and humans are able to sometimes live to 100 before they die! I don't know what day you will die, but I hope you don't for a long, long, LONG time."
I: "My body hurts. Does that mean I will die?"
M: "No. We all get boo-boos and our bodies hurt at times. That doesn't mean you will die. Sam's body was very very old so it had done its job for him and it was time for him to die."
I: "Oh."
And there it was. A preliminary exploration of death with my 3.5 year old daughter.
Neither BC nor I are religious, and if we were to put labels on our beliefs, his would be "Agnostic/Atheist" and mine would be "Spiritual/Frou-Frou." As Iyla gets older and her questions & understanding become more complex, we plan to explain to her what each of us believe (we have very different views on what happens after death!) and then from there explore the concept that everyone believes something a little different... here's why WE believe what we do, and it's up to her to form her own beliefs from there.
Two days ago when I picked Iyla up from school, she asked (seemingly out of nowhere):
"Where is Sam?"
Me: "Sam our kitty?"
I: "Yes."
M: "He died, sweetie. His body got very old and it was time for him to die"
I: "Oh. What day did I die?"
M: "Sweetie you haven't died yet."
(Interrupting me with impatience and urgency)
I: "No Mama, what DAY did I die?"
M: "Sweet girl- I can tell you are feeling frustrated because you want Mama to answer a certain way. Can you be so patient while I try to explain?"
(Nods head)
M: "You haven't died yet. You are a human, and humans can live a very long time. You are 3 years old and humans are able to sometimes live to 100 before they die! I don't know what day you will die, but I hope you don't for a long, long, LONG time."
I: "My body hurts. Does that mean I will die?"
M: "No. We all get boo-boos and our bodies hurt at times. That doesn't mean you will die. Sam's body was very very old so it had done its job for him and it was time for him to die."
I: "Oh."
And there it was. A preliminary exploration of death with my 3.5 year old daughter.
Neither BC nor I are religious, and if we were to put labels on our beliefs, his would be "Agnostic/Atheist" and mine would be "Spiritual/Frou-Frou." As Iyla gets older and her questions & understanding become more complex, we plan to explain to her what each of us believe (we have very different views on what happens after death!) and then from there explore the concept that everyone believes something a little different... here's why WE believe what we do, and it's up to her to form her own beliefs from there.
Loving the journey of exploration with this little one.
May she live a long, long, LONG and healthy life!
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