Our TTC Overview

Welcome to the ICLW folks stopping by!

I thought it might be good to introduce myself, and give a snapshot of our almost 3 year TTC journey:

July 2008: I marry my "Babycakes" (BC) in Austin, TX
April 2009: We decide to start officially trying for a family
April 2010: My regular OB/GYN gives me the 'unexplained infertility' label
Fall 2010 I begin seeing a fertility specialist
December 2010: 50mg Clomid (produces 3 follicles!) = BFN
January 2011: 50mg Femara (just 1 follicle)= BFN
February 2011: Back to 50 mg Clomid (1 follicle) + IUI = BFN
BREAK
June 2011: Laparoscopic surgery revealed (and cleared) Stage III endometriosis.
June 2011: IUI = BFN
July 2011: 50 mg Clomid (1 follicle) + IUI = BFN
September 2011: IUI= BFN
October 2011: IUI= BFN (are you seeing a theme here?)
November 2011: move into my first injectables cycle with Gonal-F + 2 IUI's (3 follicles released)
December 2011: Holy S***- first every BFP!! Sadly, ended in a chemical pregnancy days later
BREAK due to ovarian cyst
February 2012: 2nd Injectables cycle w. Gonal F and 2 IUI's= BFN (only 1 follicle released)
March 2012: With cysts on both ovaries, my doc told me this month was out for interventions. On March 20th- testing on a whim, I got a surprise, natural BFP!!! In total shock.

We are now a bit over 8 weeks along on our journey, and praying daily that this little one becomes our take home baby at the end of November.

I'd love to learn a bit about each of you as well! A few questions:

*Where are you from? 
(I am from small town Wisconsin- went to Madison for college then moved to Austin on a total whim in 1999)
*What is your all time favorite movie?
(I LOVE Annie Hall)
*If you could take a dream vacation anywhere in the world, where would you go?
(This is a toss up between another European tour- hitting Paris, Barcelona, Budapest, Vienna, etc- or heading out to New Zealand)

Happy ICLW week! I look forward to getting to know you all.

Slow and Steady (Wins the Race?)- Injectables Day 8

At my visit with Dr. V on Friday, my follicles made it clear they were in no rush this month. I had hoped with 4 days' spacing between appointments that they'd be farther along, but Dr. V seemed just fine with the pace, as we don't want more than 3 lead follicles taking over at any given time (cue an impatient sigh over here). So much for less total blood draws this cycle!

Here are my current counts with 8 days of Gonal-F injections under my belt (literally):

Right Ovary: 11, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 7, 6, 5
Left Ovary: 11, 8, 7, 6, 6
Estrogen: 230

I can't help but feel like a case study in "Diminishing Marginal Returns." Way back on my first innocent cycle of Clomid, my body had an awesome response and produced 3 good sized follicles. On subsequent months with the same dosages (amazing how quickly I lose track of the numbers- I think I had 3-4 total tries with Clomid, 1 with Femara?) I never again produced more than 1 follicle.

Likewise, on my first cycle of Gonal-F back in November/December, I was on the exact same dosages I am now, but those follies and estrogen levels progressed a whole lot faster. I didn't even finish my 1.5ml pen that round, whereas this month's pen has maybe one more draw in it, and I still have days of injections remaining.

Case in point, these were my counts from day #8 on my last injectables cycle:

Right ovary: 16, 14, 14, 14, 8, 7, 6
Left ovary: 12,11,10, 8, 7

Estrogen: 582

It appears my ovaries are onto us- the gig is up.

And yes, I know it isn't about how fast those follicles grow, rather that 2-3 eventually reach that critical 20mm size. But I still can't help feeling a wee bit disappointed that the troops seem sluggish this round.

I had scheduled an energy clearing session today to remove any residual "muck" from my system toward The Great Release of 2012. About an hour before my appointment I got a call from what sounded like a frog - it was D saying she was sick, had lost her voice, and had to cancel. So now I have to just trust that my system is still open & clear and ready to embrace another pregnancy? Say what?


Patience and trust. Patience and trust. Truly believing this can happen. Trusting in the (oh so SLOW! Why is it so SLOW?) timing of it all.

And the journey continues.....

Poked

Today marks our 4th IUI procedure (a natural one- no meds). Babycakes just texted me that "The Eagle has Landed!"- meaning his troops have been safely dropped off and are now being spun & washed to become their most charming & beautiful selves. I will follow later this afternoon to get those troops inserted & started on their monumental Olympic swim toward the finish line.

It is very likely we are going to try what is called an injectable cycle next month (should we not conceive this round). This is kind of the middle ground intervention between Clomid IUI's and the big guns of IVF. Instead of taking daily pills to stimulate ovulation, I'll be getting poked daily with self induced hormone shots (Gonadatrophin). Then I'll get poked to give blood every 3 days, along with routine ultrasounds to monitor follicular development. Then I'll get poked with a shot to induce ovulation. I'll also continue to get poked 2x/week by an acupuncturist specializing in fertility treatments.

I had my "Injectables" class yesterday to show me how the needles work, what is involved with the cycle, etc. Ideally they want you to have 2-3 good follicles that develop from the meds (any more than that and they may cancel the cycle due to a concern with multiples). They monitor you every 3 days, and when you have a couple good follies, you give yourself ANOTHER shot (Ovidril) to stimulate ovulation, then go in for 2 back-to-back IUI's. The nurse said Chlomid/IUI cycles have about an 8% success rate, an injectable cycle about 25%. Of all pregnancies conceived on injectable cycles, 30% are multiples- so those odds definitely go up. We'd be down with twins- hey, it's an INSTA-FAMILY! But I wouldn't want to risk any more than that.

Phew. Suddenly Clomid's hot flashes aren't looking so shabby after typing all that out!

Dear Clomid:

 I'm so sorry I ever bad-mouthed you. You are a sweet, gentle, unassuming charmer compared to what this Injectables Army has up its sleeve. I will remember you fondly once all this poking begins.

Love, Me

Working the Core

This is my first full cycle month post surgery, and I can tell my body's system has shifted for the better! This cycle I was on 50mg of clomid again--which is known for drying up fertile CM--and I still had an abundance of it, AND it stuck around for several days, which is really great news and new for me. (Sidenote: I HATE clomid! This month's heat flashes were absolutely insane & relentless, and upon my mid cycle sonogram, I still only had one egg in there, which I totally do on my own without drugs. That was all I needed to see to say "SAYONARA!" to future months on it!)

Last weekend was an exciting one-- I had my IUI on Saturday (on cycle day 23!! I usually ovulate on day 16, so I was almost a whole week late. You know you are TTC when your hubby actually complains about how many days in a row you're doing the baby dance- we started around day 13 so it was indeed a long run!) Because it was a Saturday, I was seen by the on call doctor, whom I didn't care for at all. Babycakes' sample was labeled "marginal" this round, with 13% motility, likely b/c we hadn't abstained long enough prior (being that late, it was really hard to pinpoint when to abstain/etc). Makes me wonder if we should start him on another vitamin cocktail (which he was doing for months prior to our big "break" in March. Admittedly he hated it, but our first IUI sample was off the charts good!)

The other exciting thing that happened last weekend was that I started filming an East Austin focused House Hunters episode with my clients! I filmed for two full days (my clients three) and the crew will be back in September to finish up filming. It was so fun to see what actually goes on behind the scenes to make the show. I LOVE that HGTV program, so am super thrilled & honored to be participating in it, with an estimated air date next spring. My clients are adorable, and we all had a blast playing together for the filming days.

I also got to catch up with my dear friend Jenny Monday night, and she mentioned to me that another friend of hers had just conceived after 1 1/2 years of trying, and one thing she did different the cycle she conceived was to eat a pineapple core. Now, I had heard things about pineapple being helpful for implantation, but never heard anything about eating the core! So I googled it and found this article:

http://www.amandabears.com/pineapple-core-for-implantation.html

Then promptly went out and ended up with this:

It's a little tough to chew, but I'm in the mode of being willing to try anything, and figure it can't hurt.  I also hit my weekly Pilates class today, so am officially "working the core" on all fronts. We're in the TWW now, and I'm just taking it one day at a time, happily distracted by all the filming fun & an upcoming trip to NYC. Feeling very grateful in general, and really, truly trusting that we are on the road toward making our family. : )

Schooled by TTC

I figure if I’m going to start a blog, I should share a little history about our TTC (trying to conceive) journey.

First lesson learned: we are OLD in the TTC world (I am 35, hubby 40). Apparently my eggs started rotting when I turned 35, and now getting pregnant becomes more and more like climbing Mt Everest. And I'm not a mountain kinda girl.

2nd lesson:  TTC is a whole new world.  The acronyms! - (found & learned from stalking skimming fertility forums). A cheat-sheet to some commonly used terms that are now part of my vernacular:

AF: Aunt Flo, aka,  time of the month, period
DH: dear husband (or 'babycakes' --'BC'-- if the mood strikes)
CM: cervical mucus
BD: baby dance (aka sex)
CD: cycle day
BFN: big fat negative (as in pregnancy test)
BFP: big fat positive (do these really exist?)
IUI: Intrauterine Insemination
IVF: In Vitro Fertilization
2WW: two week wait (after ovulation- to see if you are preggers or not)
DPO: days past ovulation
OPK: ovulation predictor kit
SA: Semen analysis
BBT: Basal body temperature

What I have tried:

*Acupuncture
   ---over a years’ worth, 2 different practitioners. Allegedly my Liver & Kidney are jerks & need more chi
*Charting my BBT
   ---started this 6 months before we even began TTC- b/c obviously! We’d get pregnant right away! Abruptly stopped charting after 2nd month not getting knocked up- threw charts away in a crying rage, declaring that charting + my Type A personality were NOT meant to be.
*Monitoring CM & using OPKs
   ---I got really good at this- had everything down to a science. 3 days after fertile CM I would ovulate, and 14 days later AF would systematically show her ugly face
*Talking to psychics
   ---who have assured me there is a little girl waiting to come to us. Apparently she is in no rush. Awesome.
*Eating a Mediterranean diet. Eating high fat dairy. Cutting out dairy. Cutting out coffee. Drinking green tea. Eating green vegetables. You get the idea.
*Vitamins & supplements, to include Goji Juice, Evening Primrose Oil, Vitamin B, Pre-natal vitamins, magnesium, fish oil pills, flax seed pills, zinc
*Not trying. Going on vacation!
*Committing and TOTALLY trying again
*Myofasial work
*Chiropractic work
*Massages
*Energy work
*2 rounds Clomid,1 Femera
*Clomid + IUI (one try)
*Meditating
*Painting the future baby’s room
*Elevating my hips & staying there for an hour after BD
*Wearing fertility charms
*Using sperm friendly lube
*Taking Mucinex to increase fertile CM
*Going to a fertility specialist.....to be told our chance of conceiving's uplifting odds are 1-3%/month naturally. Woot!

Tests I/we have done:

*CD 3 & CD 20 blood tests (all normal)
*HSG (Hysterosalpingogram- a test where they shoot dye into your uterus to see if your tubes are open.) Which, b/c I have NO pain tolerance whatsoever and am a total wimp, I prepped for with a xanax AND half a vicodin. Don’t judge. Tubes were open, uterus a bit narrow, but overall I'm good to go.
*Countless monthly sonograms to monitor follicle growth & check for cysts. I feel like our fertility doc is getting more action than my husband these days. Sorry Babycakes.
*DH had SA, which showed extremely high counts, but lower motility. We joke that his swimmers are drunk. B/c of the high numbers, it isn’t too big of a concern. We also know his troops “work” based on a donation he did that resulted in an amazing baby boy.

The one doozy I haven’t yet done is the laparoscopy, where they cut you open make 3  incisions into your abdomen to “look around” for endometriosis, fibroids, scarring, etc. This is a little like the old Chicken and the Egg- do we keep paying for interventions when there might be undiagnosed endometriosis? Or do we pay $2000 for the laparoscopy, knowing that they might not find ANYTHING?

(Unsolicited) Advice I have gotten:

*Relax
*Stop “trying” and it will happen (a personal fav)
*Why don’t you adopt?
*Life’s hard
*Do this chant to connect with your unborn child
*Meditate
*Exercise more
*Drink/eat/take “” (insert endless string of items here)
*Trust that it WILL happen (often said by folks who got pregnant on the first try or have never TTC)

Every month is a new game. Sometimes I feel hopeful, other times utterly hopeless.