November!

Our birth month has finally arrived! And arrive it did with a bang. I awoke this morning with unusual-to-me diarrhea and pretty extreme nausea. I am feeling better now post-breakfast, and thinking the colace stool softener I've started taking nightly might be doing its job a little too well.

BC and I originally hadn't planned to dress up or do much for Halloween this year. However, when we got a last minute invite to our good friends' home to have dinner & help hand out candy, it was game on! Someone on my November Mamas Facebook page had posted a picture of a pregnant Halloween costume where there were baby arms breaking out of the belly to trick or treat, and I was immediately inspired. After hitting up about 4 stores yesterday in a quest for costume supplies, the vision slowly came together. Behold, Baby Lambert's first Halloween:

The best was when the baby would actually move or get the hiccups- the doll arms would start to bounce and move on their own. Super creepy!

We also had our last ultrasound yesterday to take a peek at the babe and see what was going on with Franny. Baby Lambert was moving as much as ever (I read somewhere that at this point in gestation most babies sleep 90% of the time... HA! Totally not true of this little one. We are going to get a run for our money when she joins us!) Everything looked great. She is still measuring in the 20th percentile, estimated weight at 5 pounds, 6 ounces- which is perfect textbook growth. Four weeks ago they estimated 3'6, and babies typically gain at a rate of 1/2 pound/week. Given this, she should be around 6'5- 7 pounds when she makes her grand debut.

The baby has gotten big enough that her head was obscuring any view of Franny. So I got the fabulous bonus of getting an unexpected vaginal ultrasound in addition to the regular belly one. And once the doc went in that way there was Franny, hanging out in all her glory, still blocking the birth canal. At least there is NO shadow of a doubt now what the plan is... onward we go to our scheduled c-section. Less than 3 weeks now until we meet our little girl!

In Which We Choose Our Baby's Birthday

Remember that growth ultrasound I had last week?

First of all- BC and I somehow 'misheard' the stats. We were sure the ultrasound doc had said our little lady was measuring in the 8th percentile.

On Monday my regular doc- Dr. Campaigne from Nurture OBGYN- called me to discuss the ultrasound. She told us that the overall measurements were in the 17th percentile! Still a little lady, but not quite AS small. Her head was actually in the 40th percentile (curse of the BC head!), and everything together came out at 17%. These measurements were all based on the November 24th due date- which is calculated by my LMP (last menstrual period- they 'assume' you ovulate 14 days after the LMP). However, based on our known conception date my due date would be November 29th (as I know exactly when I ovulated- it is usually cycle day 20 or 21), meaning her percents would be even higher for babies at her age.

All great news!

Then it was time to talk about Franny (my fibroid).

At the ultrasound, the u/s doc had indicated Franny had NOT moved out of the way of the birth canal at all, and that he thought it was highly likely we'd need a c-section. He did say he's seen "miracles happen,' but he wasn't very hopeful.

Which brings us back to my talk with Dr. Campaigne. A little background here about Nurture OBGYN: this is a small boutique practice with one holistic OB and one midwife who are VERY much into natural childbirth and seeing pregnancy as a normal healthy event. They boast & celebrate a low 10% c-section rate, and also have very low stats with other interventions like pitocin.

So when I spoke with Dr. Campaigne earlier this week and she told me that based on what the ultrasound doc's notes recommended and what she saw in the report that she thought a planned c-section was the path we needed to go, I didn't question it. Of any doctor who would come to this conclusion, I fully trusted her that this was the only option given our situation.

Was I disappointed? Of course. But I am also someone that doesn't look back- when a decision needs to be made and I commit to something it is full speed ahead. My questions to her went like this:

Knowing that our due date is November 24th, when would you schedule me for a c-section?
-We like to do them in the 39th week, so probably around November 19th or 20th

What are your thoughts on letting me go into labor naturally- THEN doing the c-section?
-Honestly, we feel like that puts a lot of undue stress on yours and the baby's body, so don't recommend it

I know you take pride in your surgery skills- what will the incision be like?
-I don't want to brag, but yes! Aesthetics are VERY important to me and I do take great pride in making sure it is as small of an incision as possible that heals well

So then I was left that afternoon ruminating on all of this and waiting to share the news with BC. When I told him, I could tell he was a bit disappointed, but mostly he had a few questions of his own. He had been under the impression from the ultrasound doc that they would continue to monitor my fibroid before making a final call, and wanted to know why the call was being made now? (Granted somehow we must have misheard a lot of things at that ultrasound appointment, including our little ones' measurements!). I promised BC I would ask that question of Dr. Campaigne when I met with her next week, but that I did trust her judgement very much- so felt like this was the way it was going to be.

Part of my 'coping' with this big news was to come up with a list of PROS for a planned c-section, to include:

1. My lady parts would be completely preserved- no tearing, no bladder problems, no healing needed.

2. We could better plan ahead with our work schedules & family visits (unless of course the little one throws everyone for a loop and comes early!)

3. We don't have to attend any more birth classes (I already cancelled our "Yoga for Birth" workshop and we likely won't attend any more hypno-birthing classes).

4. This child will definitely be a Scorpio now, just like me (God help BC!) Not sure if that is a definite "pro," but I like it. : )

5. I won't have to feel any pains of labor.

6. Our baby will have a 'gentler' entrance into the world- no squishing & squeezing through the birth canal, so no funny head shapes or bruising.

The CONS?

1. The magic of going into labor and wondering when our little one's birthday will be has been taken away. I have been wrestling with bouts of grief surrounding this, feeling like part of my womanhood has been somehow stripped away. I will not experience labor, I will not experience giving birth the way it was meant to be done... my body won't automatically be releasing the right laboring or birth hormones.

2. Having a major surgery and dealing with the recovery. I will now be much more compromised physically following her birth, and have to be on pain meds as the incisions heal.

3. My body may take longer to 'kick in' the right hormones to help out with breastfeeding, given the surgery & meds I will be on.

4. No birth classes. It was a 'pro' in lightening up our schedule, but I was really looking forward to sharing in those with BC.

5. As much as it is a 'pro' that the baby will have a gentler entrance into the world, it will be gentle and a bit shocking, in that we won't be able to have a dimly lit, quiet, tranquil space for her to enter. She will emerge into bright overhead lights and doctors with masks on.

6. No immediate skin to skin contact with our little one. I asked if there was ANY way this could still happen- and b/c the surgery room is kept freezing cold, it is most important to bundle baby right away to keep her warm. She will be given to me to see/hold for a short time before going to the nursery- and I will want BC to accompany her there so she has someone familiar with her while they put me back together. My doctor says we should all be reunited pretty quickly- within an hour- so hopefully that time will go by quickly.

7. Being responsible for choosing her birthday! This was one of the main sticking points I hoped I wouldn't have to face. And if you know anything about me by reading this blog, it will come as NO surprise that a couple of the first calls I made after getting the news of the c-section were to my psychic friend Cristy and to my friend Dianne who does astrological charts. I figured if the doctor was aiming for November 19th or 20th, then the 15th and 16th (of the week before) would probably be fair game too (weekend dates are unfortunately out- I like the look of November 18th, but given it is a Sunday it would be a no-go).

I have had the 15th in my head for awhile with this little one, as has my mom. BC said he liked the way the 20th looked. When Dianne ran the astrology around all those dates, she highly recommended focusing on the 18th-20th (morning of the 20th only). Cristy seems to think this little one will come sooner and choose for herself, possibly starting her journey with the November 13th new moon.

So basically we will be choosing an "on or before" date for our little one. One thing for sure? She'll definitely be here by Thanksgiving! Holy sheet. I meet again with the Nurture ladies on Monday, and hope to talk further about dates then.

I've also spoken a few times with our fabulous doula- wondering if we would still need her services. Ultimately we've decided to do a 'revised' doula package where she has one prenatal appointment with us to help prepare us on what to expect with a planned c-section, and then I will still have her there supporting me on the actual day with all the before, during, & after events of surgery. She can be there in the operating room with me when BC goes to the nursery with the baby, and can also help me get started with breastfeeding. And she writes a personal birth story, which I love! What ultimately convinced me was reading another 'planned c-section' birth story on her blog. I won't be passing up her offering me foot & head massages throughout our birth day!

There are still a lot of emotions to deal with surrounding this recent turn of events. This definitely isn't the way I'd hoped things would go down, but it is our new reality. I am feeling waves of sorrow every time my hips ache or the Braxton Hicks come on... my body is preparing to birth naturally, and I feel like in a way I am cheating it. Ultimately, I just have to trust in my caregivers and know that the end result will be a healthy baby girl.

In closing, I bring you an adorable photo of my niece Magnolia who came in from Seattle for our baby shower. She is 3.5 months old- and has a super unique and cute way of self soothing herself to sleep. Apparently there is even an ultrasound picture of her in utero doing this! Too cute.

Sweet Maggie, I just may have used this move when I got the c-section news.
We all need a little soothing sometimes.

32 Week Updates

How far along? 32 weeks yesterday

How big is baby? We actually had a growth ultrasound this past week- and she looks to be about 3.25-3.5 pounds, which is right on track. The ultrasound tech said she was "petite," with a smallish head and abdomen (so looks like she favors me there- which is JUST fine- BC has a huge head!) She was measuring in the 8th percentile, so definitely a little lady. It was confirmed she is head down- and is actually using Fibroid Franny like a pillow- ha.

And speaking of Franny- she hasn't grown much, but also hasn't moved one iota out of the way. The U/S tech still isn't optimistic that the baby will be able to squeeze past to come out the good 'ole fashioned way, and he put our odds of needing a c-section really high (but did say "miracles can happen!' Great.) We'll see what my regular doc has to say when we meet to go over these stats- but at the last appointment she was of the mindset that we would allow me to go into labor naturally and give this baby a shot at pushing past Franny. Obviously we'd be monitoring me closely- and if it became evident that indeed there was no way of coming out vaginally, then at that point we'd go ahead with a c-section.

Weight gain? Up 19.2- pounds total. That is a that is a 2.7 pound gain from last week! I feel like I am two stepping with my weekly weights- down a smidgeon, then up a bunch! Down a smidgeon, then up again!

32 week belly

Sleep? Schizophrenic brain is here again- when I wake to go the bathroom in the middle of the night my brain unfortunately wakes too, and I've been having about an hour nightly just trying to get back to sleep. I've also still been waking super early. In between those times I sleep really well and soundly- just wish my body & brain could connect the dots and STAY asleep.

Cravings/Aversions? Strawberries are a new one tasting amazing to me- not necessarily something that I need and crave, but pre pregnancy I didn't love them- and I'd have to say I am loving them lately.

Symptoms? Ack- constipation with a vengeance. I had ANOTHER episode of what happened in New Mexico! That marks two of those episodes within a week, which is ridiculous.

Other than that I am actually doing pretty. well. Still having Braxton Hicks on and off, had one migraine last week, and more tired than usual. But all things I can handle.

One weird thing that happened for about 30 minutes during my shower yesterday and then again today- my left ear was "popped" like when the air pressure changes on an airplane. My voice sounded like a loud echo in my head, and I could NOT make it stop for the life of me. Not with eating, drinking, yawning, chewing gum, etc. It was extremely distracting & strange.  I finally found that tipping my head backwards for awhile would help it temporarily clear. I have no idea if this is related to pregnancy or not, but I have NEVER had that happen to me for such a long period.

Most looking forward to? Going through my baby shower loot! My shower was yesterday and the generosity was off the charts. I will work on a separate post with pictures & updates from that- including the final dress selection. I appreciate all the votes & comments on my dress choices from the last post- and ended up going an entirely different direction! I have a lot of dresses to return tomorrow...

I'm Too Sexy for my... (Baby Shower?) and 31 Week Updates

Finding the right dress.

As a female, there are many occasions where this act becomes a labor of love as much as a pain in the a**. Homecoming. Prom. Graduation. Wedding shower. Wedding. House Hunters (not all ladies struggle with this one, but it was a doozy! Needing at LEAST 3-4 'professional' looking dresses to be seen on National TV. No pressure, right?)

And now the baby shower. This one is proving to be extra hard, given the additional curves I am working with. I have tried on no less than 15 dresses in my quest, and my UPS man has been working overtime with all the mail order deliveries I've been getting (and mostly returning). I actually got a call from the Wells Fargo Fraud Protection Department due to the fact that there were so many recent charges placed to random Maternity stores across the US. I sheepishly verified that yes, indeed, those were all mine. Whoops.

The first real dress contender I had was this lovely wine colored frock:

Fits me very well and was Babycakes approved. The *only* problem is that it is made from a heavier material and has sleeves, and it is still 90 degrees daily here in Austin. AND I am a sweater. I don't think having armpit sweat rings would be a cute look for the shower.

In the last major clothes order that arrived Friday, there were 2 more possible contenders (out of about 8!) I think this little black dress is cuter in person than in this picture:

And then- THEN I tried this on. I immediately was quite smitten- it was SO comfy and it somehow made me, in my almost 8 months' pregnant glory, feel pretty (I added the belt):

I felt like I had found the one. Yes, it was quite fitted and showed all of my lumps & bumps curves- but nothing some good 'ole maternity spanx or a slip couldn't calm (which have been ordered- like I said, the UPS man is definitely earning his paycheck these days!).

Then I showed it to BC.

His response? "Isn't it too small for you? It's really tight."

AWESOME.

BC and I have quite the history with fashion- he was/is the first partner I've ever had who has pretty particular aesthetic opinions on what I wear. In the beginning this was a big source of contention between us, but over the years we have worked it out. However, I felt pretty deflated by his comments, totally 2nd guessing what had minutes before been my favorite choice. I definitely don't want to come off as too va-va-voom sexy for my BABY SHOWER, especially with my mom and my mother-in-law in attendance. So I've gone ahead and ordered the next size up in this dress on express delivery, to see if maybe it fits a little less snug- though I fear the length on the next size will be way too long, as this one is already long on me as it is- needing some elevated sandals to make it work (ah, the perils of a maxi-dress on a 5'2 frame).

Dear Readers of mine- I'd love to have you weigh in on the dresses! I know it is a bit hard going on just pictures, but if you are willing, I'd love to get your feedback on the 3 choices in the comments section. Which dress would you choose?

Now on to my 31 week updates:

How far along? 31 weeks yesterday. Only NINE WEEKS until our due date! That is 62 days according to my pregnancy ticker. Holy s***

How big is baby? She is compared to either a head of lettuce or a pineapple this week, likely around 3+ pounds and over 16 inches. All of her organs are fully formed and functioning with the exception of her lungs, which are still working hard to reach final maturity.

I was able to confirm at my doctor appointment this week that she is already head down! I had suspected as much, given the hiccups I feel daily are always way low on my right side. This is great news- perfect positioning for birth- so here's hoping she stays put down there.

31 week belly

Weight gain? I actually was DOWN 1/2 pound as of yesterday at the 31 week mark- for a total weight gain of 16.5 pounds. Of course this morning things seem to have gone up again- but I am also suffering from a relapse of wicked constipation.

Sleep? I'm having another bout of waking WAY too early and being unable to get back to sleep. Friday it was 5am. Yesterday was a blissful 6:45am. This morning was 6am. I've also had a couple nights where sleeping on my back was leaving me short of breath (yes- I am still occasionally sleeping on my back! But I think those days are getting seriously numbered).

I had my first dream this week where I had given birth. Our baby girl was at the hospital and I was anxious to get ahold of BC and go see her (there was no act of birth in the dream, just the knowledge that it had happened and she was here!) Awesome part of the dream? That I put on my pre-maternity jeans and they instantly fit. Not so awesome part? She had arrived on October 10th- which in my subconscious state I noted as 10-11-12- a very cool birthdate indeed, but that would make her about 6 weeks early, which is not so great. I also took conscious note that I didn't yet have a carseat- one of the first baby gear items absolutely necessary. Cue me upon waking to doing some registry stalking- our carseat hasn't yet been purchased, so I have a HUGE mental note to get that ordered ASAP after our shower.

Food cravings/aversions? Not much new here- still preferring fish to meat & loving my sweets.

Symptoms? Apparently in the 3rd trimester progesterone kicks up quite a bit, and for me that is manifesting in a few forehead pimples, bloody noses, and really extreme constipation. I actually had another awful encore of what happened in New Mexico, and am adding prune juice to the shopping list. I also wonder if progesterone has anything to do with my early waking, as that was happening a lot in the 1st trimester as well.

Physically, I am having weird tugs in my glutes and inner thighs. I went on a 2 mile walk this week (which proved to be DIFFICULT- lots of round ligament tightening coupled with Braxton Hicks)- and it felt like my right inner thigh muscle was totally pulled. I suspect this has to do with the whole hip widening/pelvis opening action going on. On a walk with BC the other night I was getting noticeably winded, which apparently is pretty common at this stage in the game as my uterus starts pushing upward and infringing on my lungs.

Most looking forward to? We have an ultrasound on Wednesday and I am so excited to see our little one again and see how she's grown! Also super excited for my baby shower... here's hoping I can settle on the right dress SOON.

30 Weeks! And a New Baby

First things first- my cousin Amy had her baby boy yesterday! I guess that would make him my 2nd cousin, but it is easier to think of myself as an Auntie to this sweet little one. It has been so awesome to both be pregnant together- we grew up like sisters, and are so thrilled our kiddos will be so close in age.

Look at all that HAIR! He looks just like Amy did as a baby.

Liam Matthew 

Born 9/14 at 2:20 am

9lbs 7oz

21-3/4" long

Somehow hitting the 30 week mark feels like an exclamation to me- another milestone in our pregnancy journey. It also signals how close we are getting to meeting our little girl- I can't believe she could be here as soon as 7-8 weeks from now! That fact alone has re-kicked my schizophrenic night brain into high gear- I finally had a couple luxurious full nights of sleep, and then last night the schizo brain was in full affect again, making for a very sleepy day today.

Yesterday we finally procured folks wanting to rent out our house for the Austin City Limits music festival- and they'll be staying here for 5 nights from October 10th-15th. I am thrilled it is 2 adult couples, as that means I don't have to prep extra beds/bedding! We decided after our first round of renting out our house last March (right when we conceived!) that this was an excellent way to make some side income, and are happy to be squeaking in a bit more as the countdown to baby time draws near. However, with renters coming to stay in less than a month, there are a LOT of to-do's to be done! Here are my lists so far:

For our house:
*Assemble a welcome basket of snacks/coffee/treats
*Put together the 'house rules' booklet, including local Austin recommendations
*Clear out bedroom dresser drawers & closet space for guests
*Repair the tears in our leather couches
*Clean out our fridge & pantry
*Organize & store all of the baby loot currently accumulating in my office
*Have house professionally cleaned

For the studio apartment above our garage where we'll be staying:
*Good lord- FINISH IT so it is habitable! Contractors think they should have it far enough along by the weekend prior to ACL for us to start moving into. It won't have flooring yet, but we'll rough it as needed.
*Purchase an HVAC unit (probably a "split" unit that mounts on the wall)
*Purchase a pull out bed and dining table/chairs (we might just throw an air mattress up there short term)
*Purchase a microwave
*Stock the kitchen with basic cookware, utensils, plates, cups, etc
*Install a clothes bar in the closet

There are a million other tiny items we'll need to move in there to live for almost a week, but this list covers the bare necessities.

In other news- two huge boxes of baby girl clothes were delivered to me yesterday from my dear friend Jenny. She has 2 and 4 year old daughters, and I am definitely lucking out to be receiving their hand me downs! So many cute items- and so many things we actually needed to supplement the gazillions of stash of clothes I've already accumulated (things like zip up sleepers, sleep sacks, side snap t-shirts, and newborn pants). This is the stash as it looked upon first unpacking it (note that I piled clothes on top of each other in a somewhat organized fashion- there are a LOT of clothes here):

And this is moments later- Sam was pretty pleased with his new baby girl clothes bed:

On to my 30 week updates!

How far along? 30 weeks today

How big is baby? She has reached the size of a butternut squash - nearing the 3 pound mark and about 16 inches long. Her bone marrow is now producing red blood cells, she can produce tears, and her lungs are active and maturing more every day. I can feel her hiccuping at least once a day now.

Weight gain? My scale hit 125 this morning! That is a total of 17 lbs gained so far (up 1.5 lbs from last week!). They say the weight gain comes faster at the end (often up to a pound a week)- and at this rate, I bet I hit around 30 total pounds when all is said and done. While doing wash yesterday I was lounging in my skivvies and had a moment where I was a bit alarmed at the state of my thighs. They are still not sucking up much with my trusty 'squeeze test,' but I think they have definitely filled in the space between where my hips were originally and where they have now spread.

The weather in Austin has finally started cooling down- and last night I put on a top I'd last worn one month ago in New Mexico. It barely covered my belly! I am going to have to start getting creative in the next two months with my wardrobe- don't want to invest a lot of money in new maternity clothes, but definitely need to find things that can contain my expansion in a tasteful way.

30 week belly- and JEANS! 

First time I've worn jeans in Austin since maybe last March.

Sleep? Ack- still waking WAY too early every day this week. I had a blissful 2 nights of super long, sound sleep Wednesday & Thursday night- but last night my brain went WAY into overdrive making mental lists of all the prep we needed to do with our house, our studio, my job, etc. I am a sleepy girl today.

Food cravings/aversions? Pretty much the same- not wanting anything to do with meats, but definitely loving fish & veggies, along with apples & watermelons. My sweet tooth is also still going strong.

Symptoms? Lots and lots of Braxton Hicks. Every.single.day. They seem to pick up as the day goes on, peaking in the evenings. They made an early appearance this morning, which was extra special. They don't have any pain associated with them but are super uncomfortable and constricting- and make it really hard to walk while they are occurring.

I am starting to slow down more and more. I attempted a home yoga practice yesterday only to realize that many moves are becoming uncomfortable and difficult- including any forward bending poses. Definitely restricts what I can do to keep in shape- hopefully between my push-ups and lunges I can maintain things at a minimal level until after this baby is born.

Most looking forward to? My upcoming appointments- I have a regular doctor appointment next week, then the following week we get to see our little lady on another ultrasound at the fancy clinic that has 3D capabilities! BC will be along for that appointment, and I can't wait to see how our little one has grown.

It's ALIVE!

We had our N/T scan today- and admittedly I was pretty nervous going into it. It was my first time having an abdominal ultrasound, and as the tech put the gel on my stomach I just prayed we'd see the baby looking active and healthy.

It.was.amazing.

I cried the entire time- watching the little babe moving around with its heart beating strongly (167 heart rate). He/she looks like a real little person! The doctor said everything looked really great from what he could see. From my research one of the things that the N/T scan checks for is the level of fluid behind the neck, and anything over about 2.5-3mm can put you into a higher risk category. Our measurement was 1.2mm- which sounded perfect to me! I wished I could lie there all day watching the baby move around- it was so much fun to see.

I've been calculating my due date based on the day I am pretty positive we conceived- which puts me at 11w6d pregnant, due November 29th. However they plugged in my due date based on my last period- which puts us at November 25th- and the doctor said the baby was measuring right on track with that due date (measuring around 12w3d- must have BC's tall genes and my overachieving nature!) Of course time will tell and the baby will come when he/she is ready, but it was kind of fun to measure a bit ahead of schedule.

And now, without further adieu, I bring you baby Lambert, at either 11w6d or 12w3d, however you want to look at it:

Hi everyone!