Today I am pissed.
Pissed that we’ve been trying to have a baby for 22 months now.
Pissed that I started spotting which means that the $600 fancy schmancy “let’s hope THIS does it!” intra-uterine insemination procedure didn’t work.
Pissed b/c the hormones in the clomid I’ve been taking for months are making me nuts.
Pissed b/c on my way to visit a friend who'd just had a baby (AND got pregnant on the first try. Like everyone else around me) I stopped by a baby clothing store to get a gift. The sales clerk, as she is 15 minutes into carefully wrapping the presents, says to me:
“Do you have children?.”
(Oh no- here we go)
“No."
(Is it just me or is it suddenly 200 degrees in here? Damn clomid)
“You really should. I highly recommend it. My mom always told me not to have babies, but I did, and it is amazing…..”
I bit my lip, willing myself not to lose my s***. What I wanted to say was:
“Lady- I WANT babies. In fact, I’ve been trying to have babies for 2 years now, with no luck. Apparently, it is NOT that easy to do. Why don't you shove that pink bow where the sun doesn't shine? And are you F'in done wrapping that present yet??”
Then, not 5 minutes after I left, 3 new car alert lights flick on. Awesome. I had just gotten my oil changed/tires rotated this morning, so now what?
Let's visit a baby.
Oh Jules....this is so painful to read as it brings back so many painful memories. While I have been blessed with 3 babies, I so know how you feel as we struggled with "infertility" for years too. Nothing anyone says will help or make you feel better (at least it didn't for me). I wanted to KILL anyone who told me to just relax and calm down! Keep your head up and keep trying!
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