Game on!

Apparently the first 6 months after removing endometriosis are the BEST time to achieve pregnancy, so we're going to hit the ground running and maximize this time.

Babycakes dropped of his "sample" (Little Lambies!) to the doctor this morning, and at 10:15 I will go in for another IUI. I'm bracing myself and trying to keep emotions/expectations on the down low. I definitely feel this is the right way to proceed, and will again take things month by month. I'm also going to pull in my other "troops" -- hoping to see my lovely acupuncturist & an energy worker in the next couple of days. I figure it can't hurt, and they say it 'takes a village,' so I'm adopting that mentality even pre-conception.

If you're following our quest, please send good, fertile, positive energy our way!

Still Learning

Over the past 2 years, I've done SO much research in the TTC realm that I really thought I knew it all. I knew that part of the laparoscopic procedure was to determine if endometriosis was a culprit with ones' fertility, and that often a woman won't have any signs of its existence until the surgery is done.  I've always had pretty painful periods (the first 24 hours are brutal)- but other than that and our "unexplained infertility", there weren't any other definitive signs.

From my previous research, I directly associated endometriosis' affect on fertility with scar tissue and with fusing different organs together. So when I had my follow up call with Dr. Vaughn post surgery, I got schooled again. Yes, I had moderate (considerate) amounts of endometriosis. But no, it hadn't affected fertility with scar tissue or by adhering anything together; rather, he said that the very presence of endo can alter one's hormones, and the effectiveness of how the tubes & uterus work in conception. I found this super fascinating, and of course had to research it further.

This article has a great description on the different ways endo can affect fertility, including hormonally. After having read it, I have even more hope that now my system is back to firing on all cylinders.

Go tubes! Go uterus! We're all cleaned out and squeaky clean, and we've got some work to do.

Baby Steps

Today, on my 4th day after surgery, I decided it was time to get moving.  I planned a morning full of appointments & errands- working from the local coffee shop, previewing a house for clients, returning a book, etc. I was so excited to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!

What I hadn't considered were the logistics of my car. I figured I had no trouble sitting down or going up and down our homes' stairs, so could totally take on the Toyota. Within seconds of getting into my car, I realized the seat belt was not going to be an option, something I hadn't previously considered. Those straps are oh so perfectly designed to sit tightly against exactly where my incisions are. I admittedly felt really naughty taking off without my seatbelt on- like at any moment I was going to spontaneously catapult through the windshield. I also rehearsed the speech I would give to a Cop if pulled over- including the moment I'd hike up my dress to show him my stitches.

After taking off, I quickly realized that the normal bumpity bumping of driving didn't feel too awesome either, and had to brace myself when going over railroad tracks or road transitions.

All in all it was worth it to be FREE and out & about again. When Babycakes called on his way home from work, he sounded surprised that for date night ABSOLUTELY I wanted to go OUT! And with someone else driving, it was a much more pleasant ride.

Farewell, Manties!

And on Day #3, she arose.....

Dr. Vaughn had told me to plan on taking 2 days off work for recovery, returning the 3rd day. When I awoke yesterday, I thought "yeah right- there is NO way I'll be feeling that up and at 'em tomorrow." Admittedly, I have trust issues (see previous post on that here), and Dr. Vaughn is one of the foremost authorities in the field of infertility. He definitely knows his stuff, and has been around the laparoscopic block thousands of times over. So this morning when I rose, while I still hobbled around like Frankenstein, I felt much more like myself than I have since they sliced me open operated. I showered! I filled our water fountain! I cleaned up cat barf! (that one doesn't really denote an exclamation point of excitement, but hey- it's back to business as usual).

And I said farewell to my hospital 'manties,' a moniker Babycakes gave to the hospital underwear they sent me home with. They were soft & comfy, and resembled a pair of fitted mens' boxers. Sort of like a surgical security blanket. 'Manties' derives from "man's panties," as BC didn't find them all that attractive (not that anything else about me has been even remotely attractive in the last couple of days).

Dr. Vaughn also said we could start trying for babies again as soon as we felt ready! Lookout Babycakes- the manties are gone, and I'm slowly but surely getting ready to Rock n Roll again. ; )

Recovery

Yesterday was my laparoscopic surgery. Babycakes and I were to arrive to the surgery center by 6am for the 7am procedure. My overwhelming feeling going into it was one of curiosity (and of course I also prepped BC that in the event I didn't make it, he could have all the money in my accounts and must promise to take excellent care of my our kitties.To which he smirked and asked  'how much money are we talking about?')

Sexy pre-op self portrait

After getting through the IV (the most dreaded part for me-I loathe needles!) things moved pretty quickly. I vaguely remember being wheeled into the surgery room and shifted to the operating table. The next thing I knew I heard a woman's voice saying 'you're all done' and sounds started filtering in around me like I was tuning into a shortwave radio. I tried to urge my eyes open while drifting in and out of consciousness. I slowly started to become aware of my body again, and felt some intense abdominal cramping. The nurse asked if I needed more pain relief and within moments of nodding yes the sensations were thankfully fading away.

Babycakes was fetched from the waiting room- at last reunited with his hot wife who had oxygen tubes clamped to her nose. He came bearing the doctor's updates: they'd found 'moderate' amounts of endometriosis (somewhere between mild & severe), were able to clear it all out, believing that was likely the reason we hadn't conceived yet. They also gave it only a 30% chance of possible recurrence. !!!!!!!!!!! Not sure if it was the massive amounts of drugs in my body, but I was soaring on cloud nine! Seriously, the best results we possibly could have hoped for. I had this energetic tickle inside similar to the magic I'd felt when we first started trying for babies two years ago.

Then recovery set in.

The nurse said I had to go to the bathroom before they'd dispatch me home. No problem! I hobbled into the restroom with her & Babycakes, and quickly realized I was suffering from pee paralysis. I kicked everyone out & proceeded to sit there for 15 minutes trying to coax my bladder to loosen up. The nurse came back in, and another awesome surprise gripped me: extreme nausea. She gave me some alcohol pads to sniff and left me to keep trying to do my business. It was probably one of the most frustrating 30 odd some minutes I've had in a long time- I just wanted to go home.

The rest of the day was a sleepy, nauseous blur. The kitties were thrilled and thought we were having a party- all shacked up together in bed. Surprisingly I didn't need any more pain meds- the incision sites were sore but totally bearable. My tummy was very stiff & bloated, causing me to resemble Frankenstein as I lurched to and from the bathroom.

             "This is awesome! Can you have laparoscopic surgery everyday?"


I took 2 doses of anti nausea meds- and WHOA- those things were intense! I'd feel a tingly burning in my arms & a sudden pulsing in my hands, followed by some trippy visuals before the nausea would finally cease. Discovered today that I was actually taking them wrong (hey- I was in no shape to be reading directions!) -the tabs are supposed to be completely dissolved on one's tongue, not popped like candy. Oh well. I lived, and it made for some interesting entertainment.

Today my appetite is finally coming back, coupled with a pretty intense headache. I've been anxious to speak to my doctor directly- wanting to find out more details about exactly where the endo was found, etc, but wasn't able to get through today. Hoping for more updates tomorrow.

All in all, I am SOOOO grateful we decided to have this procedure. Even the most talented acupuncturists, chiropractors, spiritualists, yogis, etc can't cure endometriosis. It's been quite the journey over the past 2 years, and I am ever so relieved to finally have answers, and to finally be moving forward.

Making the Cut

The Real Estate World has gotten crazy busy lately- and I have been welcoming the shift with open arms. Our market survived the recession probably better than anywhere else in the US- in fact, I thought we were going to avoid the ramifications entirely- until May of 2010. That was when our market seemed to 'go to sleep'  after the last tax credit expired. Buyers disappeared. Listings sat on the market. I saw my own business take about a 2/3 cut in productivity & income. We were all feeding into the Cycle of Fear, no one knowing when things would pick up. Ironically it was one of the BEST times to be buying here in town- with historically low interest rates, dropping prices, motivated sellers, and an abundance of home inventory.

I try to find the lessons in everything life throws at me, and with my cut in income, Babycakes and I went on a budget. A first for me, and admittedly not very fun. We went out less, tracked all expenses, and tried to tailor our lifestyle to fit into just BC's income. This was an important lesson for us- as our plan has always been for me to cut back on work when little ones come into our life, and this gave us a good snapshot of what that might look like.

So this April when our market "woke up" again, it felt like a re-birth of sorts for my business. I was getting 2-3 referrals a week- many for active buyers, and I've been VERY blessed to be meeting & working with some amazing clients. I get so much genuine joy helping people find their home here in this city I love, and this upswing has felt so good to both Babycakes and I- I feel more financially confident, and have had a nice distraction from TTC. We are also having the opportunity to bolster our savings- again in the mindset of my cutting back on work when we have a family.

I've decided to proceed forward with one of the most major TTC tests:  laparoscopic surgery.  I go under the knife one week from today to see if there are any physical reasons why we haven't conceived yet. I have very mixed emotions heading into this, and figure there are 3 possible outcomes:

*BEST case scenario would be they get in there, find something that appears to be the very reason we haven't conceived, remove/fix it, and BOOM- crazy fertile times ahead!! Babies everywhere!

*Worst case scenario would be they get in there and things look bad. Very bad. As in, "Sorry lady, it ain't gonna happen naturally. Ever." 

*Somewhere in the middle would be that they find nothing notable, and that is definitely a gray area: YAY for nothing physically wrong! But BOO- then what IS the reason we aren't getting pregnant?

Hoping to make the cut & join the ranks of Fertile Myrtles everywhere. Wish me luck!