Tuesday, May 1, 2012

You Must Have Finally Relaxed!

Anyone in the infertility world will tell you that one of the WORST things you can say to someone who has struggled to conceive is to "just relax." Closely following this is when you tell folks you are pregnant after some 3 years trying, and they say "oh- you must have finally relaxed."

My sweet grandmother was the first to say the latter to me. While on the phone with her soon after our big announcement, she chirped in her loving Grandmother voice: "I knew it would happen once you relaxed!" I cringed a bit, but it is really hard to be mad at Grandma.

Then last night I set out for a long walk along the water. Early on I ran into an acquaintance- a friend of a friend- whom I see maybe once a year in social circles. The catch-up small talk commenced:

"So how ARE you? How is real estate?"
-All is great! The market has really picked up.

"How is BC? Your house?"
-He's awesome- and we are LOVING our home.

"What else? Anything else new?

(This is always the point where I quickly assess how 'safe' I feel to share the BIG news)

-Well, we are actually having a baby in November! So that is big news!

"Oh wow! Was it a surprise or something you planned?"

(Oh, how to answer this?! I decided to go the open book route)

-We've actually been trying almost 3 years, but it was a total surprise this month- a month my fertility specialist told me we couldn't do interventions due to ovarian cysts.

"Sounds like you must have finally relaxed."

-Well, it was great to see you! I had better get on with my walk before it gets too dark. (Could.not.leave.fast.enough)

I see how I may have asked for that, given the progression of the conversation. I played it over and over again in my mind wondering if I should have shared less? I know folks mean no harm when they say things like that, but truly they have NO IDEA what the struggle of infertility is like, and how, if it was just as easy as relaxing, I would have been knocked up a long time ago (endometriosis, anyone?)

Saturday BC and I headed out to celebrate his 42nd birthday. I was having a rough day nausea wise- which found me breathing in a panting fashion on the ride to the steakhouse. BC made sure they brought us bread & butter immediately- which helped tame the beast that is my stomach these days.

A few months ago while BC and I had been out to a local coffee shop, he'd spied a boob mug on the shelves and remarked how hilarious it was- and how fun that would be to have. Cue me doing some quick internet research- and finding said boob mug available in Europe. I promptly ordered it to present to him on his birthday (in a 5 star restaurant, no less- all class here). BC wasted no time requesting the bartender fill his new mug with wine.

About the only action BC is getting these days-
 it's the least I could do.

I consumed copious amounts of bread and butter, a lobster tail, mixed vegetables, rice, and a delicious chocolate mouse cup for dessert. And then at home an hour later I was voracious again and had a 2nd meal of cheesy pasta noodles. Total beast.

Happily, when I woke Sunday morning my typical "I need to eat NOW" nausea was gone! And the day went by quite smoothly from there. I am actually now on my 3rd good day in a row- where the all day nausea is almost nonexistent. My appetite also seems to be normalizing and allowing me to eat more regular, healthy foods again. And the energy I had yesterday evening was amazing- it was the first long walk I'd taken in a very long time! I am hopeful I may be out of the thick of it with the 1st trimester (while also being a freak and paranoid that the symptoms going away could mean the babe has stopped growing. Will I ever stop worrying?) I will be 10 weeks along on Thursday, and the 10 week point is when my cousin said she too started feeling much better.

Hopefully this upswing in energy & health will also bode well for BC. Sweet boy, it may be time to set the boob mug aside!


  1. This boob mug is hilarious and BC is super awesome for having his wine out of it ;) Glad you are feeling better! Enjoy it!

  2. glad to hear Im not the only one that is paranoid! I just had an ultrasound 2 days ago and Im already scheming how to get another one so i can make sure my munchkins are still kicking.
    I probably won't be fully cured until I get a doppler or can feel them moving. Sigh...