The Day Busted Tinker Bell Wings Broke Me

Today was one of those days where nothing seemed to go right. Nothing was catastrophic, mind you, but it was a day in which busted Tinker Bell wings were the thing that finally broke me.

First, a little background.

Last Sunday I got a migraine that has lingered in pulsating temple pain all.week.long. Add to that our nanny having an adverse reaction to dental anesthesia and having to take the first 3 days of the week off. When you count on having that help to work and take care of home chores, responsibilities start to pile up quickly.

BC and I have also both been sleeping poorly. I am an insanely light sleeper by nature, habitually sleeping with a fan turned up to turbo speed. For some reason this week BC has been snoring & tossing a lot more than normal (allergies?), which causes me to continually wake & shift, and my shifting then causes him to wake. And so on and so forth. I was really in need of a good night's sleep.

Back to today.

Today started at 3am with flashing lights and another migraine. Any hope of a restful night quickly flew out the window.

Our nanny was back (thank goodness!) after her dental hiatus, and just as I was opening the front door to greet her, there was a knock at our back door. The contractors had arrived. They have been here every day for the last 2 weeks, working on a series of odd jobs for BC. Today was the day they'd be working on the laundry room remodel- a project that was entirely my idea.

I left Iyla and the nanny at the front door and ran back through the house to let the contractors in.  I was anxious with the news I had to deliver - that the custom built bottom shelf unit they'd made and installed in the laundry room the day prior was just…. too small. It needed to be about 6 inches longer. This was not their fault, but rather an issue with my leaving the design process in their trust without knowing much about what final dimensions would look like. I felt like a jerk having to ask them to rebuild it, but also knew it had to be done.

In the middle of this awkward conversation, with Iyla now fussing at my feet in the tiny laundry room (where was the nanny?), I hear BC shouting to me from upstairs- asking why I'd let the stray outdoor cat in the house? Apparently when the nanny and Iyla were at the front door the cat had run in and raced upstairs. Awesome.

Thirty minutes later I finally got out of the house and had my one nice reprise of the day, catching up on a week's worth of loose ends with work, bills, home studio AC research, etc.

I then headed out to visit my chiropractor in the hope of relieving these persistent migraines. I was met with a line out the door, as this chiropractor doesn't take appointments and operates on a first come, first serve basis. Apparently I wasn't the only one coming for a visit today, and didn't have the time or energy to wait over an hour to be seen.

I was grateful to have had an acupuncture session scheduled for the afternoon, I told my practitioner she needn't check in on me during the session, as I intended to have a much needed rest. Within minutes of her leaving- captive to the needles pricking every few inches of my skin- I began to feel like I was on fire. I quickly realized the heat lamp had been placed way too close to my feet, and I started to sweat profusely. There was nothing I could do save oh so carefully inch my toes away from the heat, feeling every single needle pinch as I moved.

When I was finally free of that uncomfortable session I headed straight out into Austin's 100 degree heat and gridlocked rush hour traffic.

Did I mention I am also feeling a lot of pressure to rescue/help that stray abandoned kitty that ran into our house? The renters next door were evicted 2 weeks ago, and for some reason took their 2 dogs and ONE of the sweet kitty siblings that lived with them, leaving the other one behind. She has been actively petitioning me at our front door- weaving in and out of my legs, chirping sweet kitty meows, and basically trying to sweet talk her way into our family. I am at a loss as to what to do. I really don't want the responsibility of taking in an animal I don't know. Will she be destructive? House broken? Carry diseases? How will our kitty Sam react? But then my thoughts just as quickly spin the other direction. She is a seemingly awesome, sweet, smart cat. Sam always LOVED having cat siblings. We have the room and means to adopt her. And so it goes… another emotional weight sitting on top of already full shoulders, meowing at me every time I open the front door.

Back to this afternoon.

I stopped to check in on the laundry room progress, and the bottom shelves looked SO much better with the extra length- my instinct there was spot on. However, the newly installed upper cabinets?

I couldn't even reach them.

The entire point of the laundry room remodel was to make more usable storage space for ME, the one who primarily uses it. I was beyond frustrated and disappointed, but was NOT going to ask the contractor to take down and remake those as well after this morning's debacle. I'm just going to have to suck it up and be extra creative with that space (add another shelf below the way too tall cabinets?)

*sigh*

The cherry on top? I was looking for Iyla's beloved new Tinker Bell doll, and finally found her in the caddy of the stroller. She must have gone on a walk with Iyla and the nanny today. Noticing her wings were missing, I dug further into the caddy- to excavate 2 pieces of cracked, broken wings.

I started to bawl.

Yep- it was that kind of a day. I do see the humor and ridiculousness of it all, as these are absolutely First World Problems. Regardless, I cannot WAIT to go to sleep and start fresh again tomorrow.

I'll be taking a sleeping pill.

The Little Red Pill

In 2008, I had a somewhat sudden onset of ocular migraines (about 2 months before marrying BC- we joke that he definitely induced them). The first episode scared the living daylights out of me, as the flashing lights & lack of vision in my right eye had me convinced I was having a seizure.

Since then, these migraines have settled into my regular daily life. It is rare for a week to go by without having one, and often there will be 2 or 3 within one week's time.

The first thing I found to combat the excruciating pain was Vicodin, and this was purely by accident. We were at a friend's house when the disco lights started partying in my eye- and this friend said he had some pain meds that might help. Within an hour of taking one, I felt the tight, painful tension melt away and I was miraculously pain free.

I was then prescribed Midrin by my general doc. This was a medicine I took at the first signs of a migraine, and its quick acting magic meant I never had to endure the actual pain related to the episode. A small miracle, to say the least!

As I was entering the actively 'trying to conceive' world, I knew that Midrin and Vicodin were not safe for if and when I got pregnant. That's when my chiropractor- who himself is a fellow migraine sufferer- told me about Niacin. Niacin is pretty much just a fancy name for a concentrated Vitamin B3 pill, and is known for creating a 'flush' when you take it. Meaning that all of a sudden your skin gets hot, prickly, & tingly with red splotches everywhere- but amazingly, this nips the migraine pain at the front end, as it completely opens the contracted capillaries that cause the migraine in the first place.

During pregnancy I relied on Niacin & Tylenol, and that has been my migraine protocol for the past couple of years (with Vicodin as an emergency backup if for some reason the Niacin doesn't stop the pain). Meanwhile, Midrin has been discontinued and is no longer available to the general public.

My migraine triggers are vast and complicated. Here is a known list of things that seem to induce my episodes:

*Fatigue
*Stress
*Trying to focus on someone who has a window or blinds behind them (this is such a weird one, but the most often culprit! Because of this I always VERY carefully choose where I sit when out to eat or when conversing with others- if they have a window or blinds behind them it is really hard for me to focus on them and almost always triggers my flashing lights).
*Muscle tension (also from stress- seems when the right side of my neck & shoulder are extra tight the migraines come more often).

And added now to the list of triggers?

Vegas.

Vacation migraines are my nemesis. Though I am admittedly less stressed on vacation, I am often much more tired, dehydrated, & overall off schedule. So I always make sure to pack my arsenal of meds and hope for the best.

Which brings us to yesterday.

I had an absolutely lovely, luxurious day here at our hotel, starting with this:

And adding in this:

Pina Colada poolside? Yes, please.

Then heading off to a one hour massage.

Sun + cocktail + massage = exhaustion, so I set off to take a nap. 

Except I couldn't for the life of me fall asleep. And right when I was teetering in that space where I thought I might finally drift off, the flashing lights began.

Shit.

I got up to take a Niacin. Then my Aunt called to FaceTime with Iyla Gracie, which was a lovely distraction despite our poor internet connection (Iyla was still having a ball, showing me all her babies and dollies and how she can put them down her new slide!).

Still feeling exhausted, I now knew I wasn't going to sleep. So I went in an entirely different direction and cracked open a can of Red Bull. I needed to pull myself together for our night on the town!

When BC got back to the room I was feeling pretty good but still really tired. We headed out to another hotel nearby that we had heard excellent things about - The Cosmopolitan. It was a super swanky, sexy hotel to say the least. There were many Playboy bunny esque looking ladies hanging on the arms of their suitors, and crystal chandeliers draping down from every nook and cranny.

Did I mention light as a trigger for my migraines?

We sat down at the bar and were delighted to find the bartender knew and made our very favorite cocktail, the Corpse Reviver #2:

Two please, with a luxardo cherry

Within moments of my first sip the flashing lights started again. 

WTF?

I could hardly believe another migraine was starting less than 2 hours after the first! This was not good. I pulled out my little medicine pouch and rustled through it, thinking maybe I'd take another Niacin, or possibly 1/2 of a Vicodin to ensure that I wouldn't have throbbing pain for the rest of the night.

And then I saw it. The little red pill.

It was the one and only Midrin left from my initial stash years ago, and there it sat- a glimmering ruby beckoning to me from the sea of white. I remembered how effectively it used to work, generally making me feel energized/hopped up after taking it, given it had caffeine as one of the ingredients.

So I went for it.

Literally 10 minutes after taking it I started to feel really funny. And intensely nauseous. I breathed deeply and tried to collect myself, telling BC we should probably make our way to dinner soon. I hoped getting some food in my Red Bull Corpse Reviver Midrin belly would help assuage the situation.

We headed upstairs to the fancy steakhouse STK. What a gorgeous place! Complete with lots of shimmery lights. Oy.

Good thing there was low light in there so you couldn't see the extent of my exhaustion

As we ordered and people watched, I was trying my best to will my body into behaving and bouncing back. I was in Vegas, dammit! It was early in the evening and only my 2nd night here. But I could not shake the overwhelming blanket of fatigue & nausea that was cloaking me. BC was so sweet, asking me what I needed and telling me not to feel badly about this. We ate our delicious steaks, I sipped as much of my expensive and amazing glass of red wine as I could (which wasn't much- my body was definitely telling me NO MORE ALCOHOL) and found myself longing to be back in the hotel room for a warm bath.

Hot date!

So back to the hotel we went. BC headed downstairs to play a little Craps while I attempted to go to sleep. However, having Red Bull and Midrin in my system caused me to have a very exhausted body but very alert and awake mind. Which meant it would be awhile before I finally could sleep.

If you're keeping a tally so far:

Vegas Night #1= Jules 1, Vegas 0
Vegas Night #2= Jules 0, Vegas 1

This morning I am still feeling pretty exhausted with a slightly throbbing head, hoping a nap is in my future so I can be back with bells on for our last official night out.

And?

I am missing Iyla. Not in a 'I want to cut the trip short and go home now' kind of way, but in a visceral physical "I cannot WAIT to hug and kiss and snuggle that sweet girl again' kind of way. I've been pointing out every single baby I see here to BC, which is probably getting old. But they all remind me of our sweet Iyla Grace, whom I can't wait to see again Sunday (and whose photos I can't stop looking through)!

This kid melts me.

4 Weeks Old- and a LONG Night

I guess I should count myself lucky that last night was the first night where Iyla has kept me up for an extended period of time. I know many new moms deal with this on a nightly basis- and I seriously have compassion for them. Maybe Iyla was just trying to stay up to celebrate the fact that 4 weeks ago today I was in labor with her?

Our evening went as such:

9:30: I go to bed, BC takes the evening shift
1:30am: Iyla wakes me (so grateful to have had that 3.5 hour sleep!)

I feed her, change her, and lay her down in bed with me. It takes longer than usual for her to fall asleep, and finally at 2:30 she conks out.

3am: She wakes again! So I put her back on the boob to see if that will help her go back to sleep. And then she pulls out full on fussy time, which we have not yet experienced in the wee hours of the morning. So for about 1.5 hours I am swaddling, swinging, shhhhing, etc. as I pace back and forth in our bedroom. Finally around 4:30am she appears to be out- I give it a good further 5 minutes to be SURE, then oh so carefully place her in the Rock n Play sleeper (that I had pulled down from the 3rd floor around 3:30am while holding a fussing baby). The second I lay her down she gets the HICCUPS. Cue the silent "Nooooooooo!" being screamed in my head.

We recommence soothing techniques for another 20-30 minutes until hiccups are gone, baby asleep.

6:30am: Iyla wakes. I feed & change her, swaddle & shhhh her as I see inklings of fussy time creeping in. Finally at around 7:30 she is out again, and I climb carefully into bed. This is about the time BC is leaving for work, and since I am somewhat awake I motion for him to come over and kiss me goodbye. Then he leans in to give the sleeping baby a kiss. Cue another silent "Noooooooooo!" as my body tenses & waits. Baby is still asleep. BC heads out. The second the bedroom door closes she is whimpering and up.

NEW HOUSE RULE: 

DO NOT EVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, TOUCH OR KISS THE SLEEPING BABY UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO TAKE & SOOTHE THE WAKING BABY. POSSIBLY FOR HOURS.

Sam, the new house rule applies to you too! 
Back away from the baby....

So what's a girl to do after a night like that? Head to my favorite local coffee shop and pray Iyla stays asleep long enough to allow me a delicious cappuccino & omelet. So far so good (I am working from said coffee shop as we speak).

There is definitely an evolutionary reason babies are so cute. 

How can you be mad at this face?

Here are a few recent updates on some of my previous posts:

Migraines, Cluster Feedings, & Baby Blues:

I am doing MUCH better on all fronts. The tearfulness is pretty much gone, and Iyla and I are getting into a good groove together. We try to get out at least once a day on an outing, which really helps me feel like I am still part of the world. We even took her to a colleagues' Holiday party Saturday night! I am realizing that with children, the minute you think you are in a nice pattern & flow with something they mix it up on you (per this post!)... so the best you can do is expect the unexpected.

My migraines have also drastically improved since getting a massage a week ago. Courtney at Workwell Austin is amazing- any local Austinites should definitely give her a call. Workwell has a monthly membership where for $50/month you get a massage/month.  BC and I have a family membership- so for $90/month we both get a massage, breaking it down to just $45/session. I think they should call this the "New Parent Survival Package."

And as expected, BC and I quickly & lovingly worked out the golfing concerns. He is planning to golf every other week now, and also has been awesome at giving me breaks when I need them to run to the grocery store/etc. This is such a new experience for both of us, but historically we really strive to keep our communication open & work to nurture one another.  I am very lucky to have this sweet man as my husband!

Nighttime Explosions:

I did hear back from my Pediatrician regarding Iyla's fussy nights, in addition to chatting with another good friend in Boulder who is also a Pediatrician. The consensus was it sounded like bouts of colic (nooooooo!) and likely not reflux or anything food related. Apparently around 4 weeks babies' immature digestive tracks peak, and this is typically the time that more fussiness is observed. It is totally normal & does eventually pass. The best you can do as parents is to get a good arsenal of soothing techniques, and we have promptly put "The Happiest Baby on the Block's" five S's to work.  Our nights have looked like this:

Wednesday 7:30: first night of inconsolable fussing, lasting a few hours

Thursday 7:30: more inconsolable fussing until about 11:30pm

Friday 7:30: fussing begins. My Pediatrician had mentioned that many times babies want to cluster feed during these colic episodes and just feel snuggled & close to mom. So BC and I shifted things up- instead of him doing the nightly bottle I kept Iyla, and commenced the five S's! After feeding I swaddled her- arms and all!- held her close to me on her side, gave her a pacifier to suck, swayed & rocked her, and made the shhhhhing sound in her ear. I also think I sprained my wrist in the process- that's how serious this soothing business was! I put her in my ring sling and just kept her close. She pacified after about 20 minutes and stayed calm! Amazing.

Saturday: No fussy time!

Sunday: Some fussing in the evening which was quickly rectified with holding her close on her side & giving the pacifier while rocking & shhhing. Our early morning fussy session saw me doing these same techniques- they definitely work to calm her, but it can still take quite awhile for her to actually fall asleep- meaning I have to hold & soothe her until she does pass out.

One quote I've heard that I keep constantly in mind is "this too shall pass." I am working to enjoy this little creature through the good and the rough times, realizing it all goes by so quickly and before we know it this fussiness will be a thing of the past (please?).

My Baby is Going to Harvard:

Iyla hasn't gone on the potty again since the 4 miraculous times yesterday. To this I say: maybe she prefers to go to the University of Texas... and PAY HER OWN WAY. ; )

Yesterday our good friends Andy, Julie, & Lily came by to visit Iyla & have dinner together. Lily is 8 years old and just LOVES little Iyla. She brought her a huge gift bag of adorable presents! So sweet.

Modeling one of the Christmas hats Lily brought for Iyla. If this kiddo wants to keep us up all night, we will get revenge with plenty of embarrassing photos! Which of course will be pulled out to show all of her future boyfriends.  

Migraines, Cluster Feedings, & Baby Blues

Several friends had warned me during my pregnancy about the Baby Blues. That they often hit women as hormones go crazy re-regulating in the 10-14 day postpartum period. It isn't postpartum depression, per se, but more a strange predictable purging of hormones.

Now I know what they were talking about.

I have been feeling really tired & tearful the last few days. It has nothing to do with sweet Iyla herself- I am loving being her mama and still appreciating being able to be home with her. It is more to do with the overall lifestyle shift & feeling a bit shackled to the house. I am someone who is always out and about, running errands, hitting up my local coffee shop, meeting friends out, etc. With a newborn, however, it is MUCH harder to freely get out- I am lucky if we make it on one small outing a day, and that one outing takes a lot of preparation!

It was surprising to me to feel my reaction to BC's golf day Sunday & then his night out last night. This morning I asked if he might consider golfing every other Sunday, such that we could have a few weekends all together or - on that other Sunday- maybe I could get a little break and have some "me" time? To which he replied "I thought we talked about this before we were even pregnant." Meaning, we'd talked about making sure we didn't change our lives/schedules based on having a baby.

Well, the baby's here and these feelings are here too. Sure, it might be due to Baby Blues, but how can one really predict how a little one will change your lives and schedules? I definitely want BC to feel nurtured and to have his boy time, but it is hard to have him gone 6 days out of the week where those 6 days all bleed into one another for me- same routine with baby, etc.

This morning's exchange led me into serious tears, leading to further talks. BC communicated- and I know he is genuine in it- that he does want me to get the 'me' time to stay balanced. The tricky part is I prefer that time to happen during the daytime hours (vs. the night- I've been going to bed so early these days!), which pretty much only leaves Saturdays right now. Since that is the only day the three of us have all together I also don't want to give up that time. *Sigh* I have to trust we'll figure this all out- if we are loving & respectful of one another's needs & keep continuously checking in with each other, hopefully we will find a harmonious balance.

My ocular migraines have also returned with a vengeance, which does not help matters in the Baby Blues department. I have had 4 migraines in the last 4 days- including TWO on Monday. If I take my flushing niacin in time once I get the flashing lights I usually don't feel much pain; however, if I have to take that niacin close to a feeding time with Iyla I don't want to risk her getting the flushing effects. So last night at 3am saw me awakening to a migraine, taking a niacin pill, Iyla waking to feed, me feeding her for 10 minutes before feeling the 'flush' come on, then taking Iyla with me down to the kitchen to proceed to warm up a bottle of breast milk while simultaneously pumping & dumping what was left in my boobs.

Iyla also started a round of cluster feeding yesterday- where she was wanting to eat about every two hours vs the typical three. Newborns do this to help up breastfeeding moms' milk supply as they enter a growth spurt, and it is common to see happen around the two week old mark. Couple this with the migraines & lack of sleep and it is no wonder I am feeling the blues!

My Mother-in-law arrives Sunday for a 4 day visit, and it couldn't come at a better time. I am looking forward to seeing her and for her to meet Iyla, and am thinking that maybe, just maybe I will see if she is up for some one on one time with the little one as I head out for some solo errands!

In closing, I bring you a few more photos of Iyla. She is such a sweet, gentle, independent spirit and looking into that little face definitely helps me through these blues. : )

Post bath relaxation

She definitely has her Papa's feet! We call those "Lambert Toes"- long & slender

Snuggle time

23 Week Updates

I was sent for my 3rd Anatomy Scan ultrasound this past Thursday.... and I have to say, I LOVED the clinic I was sent to. It is always a treat to see our little one, but this visit took the cake. The technician who performed most of the scan genuinely was loving what she did- giggling at our little lady's antics- and the doctor himself was a sweet, intelligent, wonderful guy. The most amazing surprises? They had 3D imaging AND gave me a live DVD of the session! The first time the tech switched to the 3D view I freaked out a bit (in a good way), not knowing they had that technology. I always thought those 3D pictures looked a little creepy, but I have to say when it is your own baby they are fascinating. And of course I am going to subject you- Dear Readers- to some of the pictures. What can I say, I'm a proud mama!

 The images come out a bit distorted, but are incredible nonetheless. She was moving and dancing around like CRAZY and really didn't want to cooperate with many face forward shots. Looks like she may have some full lips like BC!

 She also appears to have BC's adorable little ears. I sure hope so.

And in other resemblances to BC- who is all limbs- look at the length of those legs! She was stretching them out straight quite a bit.

This one is a little dark but if you look closely she is sucking her thumb

It again proved difficult to get the still shots needed with how much she was moving around- but happily we were finally able to see her heart, and everything looked perfect and healthy! The doc didn't mention anything about my amniotic fluid... I had asked the tech about it at the very beginning of the session and she said she absolutely wouldn't worry about it- that all women have different levels, etc. So I am going to take that advice!

One thing the doc did bring up was Franny. Good 'ole Franny (my fibroid) hasn't grown much, but she is oh so close to my cervix. The doctor traced on the screen how big the baby's head would eventually be and how much room she'd need to properly exit the birth canal, and said he'd put money on Franny making it very difficult to have a vaginal delivery. Boo! There is definitely still a chance that as my uterus grows Franny might be pushed further away from my cervix, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that is the case. I figure our little one will come exactly how she is meant to come- and if she is hell bent on coming in a natural vaginal delivery, then she can help push Franny out of her way! 

On to the 23 week updates:

How far along? 23 weeks today

How big is baby? She was measuring right around a pound on Thursday, which is exactly where she should be. The baby websites say she is the size of a grapefruit now, just shy of 12 inches long.

This week the baby is apparently starting to feel things like hunger, thirst, sadness, fear, and happiness- which is amazing, and makes me want to be even more conscious of my moods & attitude.

Weight gain? I am up about a half pound from last week- for a total of 8.4 lbs.

23 week belly: looks a bit pointy today

Sleep? Still good, though I freakishly woke up at 6:30 this morning and couldn't get back to sleep.

Symptoms? I have had a 1st trimester relapse in the past few days! I had 2 days of nausea, and have been really tired all day long. I've noticed my eyes are red in the morning, which in the first trimester was a signal of all the hormones going crazy. I've been quite constipated, despite my maximum doses of nightly magnesium. I've felt less patient and more grouchy than normal, and also got my first migraine in a LONG time 2 nights ago (interestingly enough I'd done acupuncture that day- so think maybe the session stirred up something). One of the pregnancy websites that sends me weekly updates says at 23 weeks hormones start raging again- and boy, are they ever!

Most looking forward to? Our Babymoon vacation, which is now only 2 weeks away! We'll be spending a full week relaxing in New Mexico, and I am very much looking forward to unplugging and unwinding with BC in the cool mountain air.

22 Week Updates

I've been a busy girl with work this week! My dear friend Lisa- who is also a Realtor- is leaving for a week's vacation (during which she'll be married!). Her business was officially handed over to me yesterday, so needless to say this upcoming week may be even busier (especially if this morning's activity was any indication). I am grateful we have one another to help out during these transitions in our lives- as we truly trust each other and run our businesses in the same manner. She stepped in 4 years ago when I married BC, and I am more than happy to return the favor.

Baby Girl has been very active this week- lots of little gentle kicks & punches throughout the day. I also had my first experience yesterday of seeing my stomach become lopsided! I was lying on the couch and when I looked down there was a definite bulge to the right of my belly button. She definitely favors my right side- I have NEVER felt any kicks on the left, which is interesting. Perhaps she is trying to stay as far away from Franny as possible....

And how cute is THIS idea? A tree decal with shelves! I am keeping my fingers crossed that BC doesn't boycott it as being too "baby" or "cutesy," b/c I really, really love it and think it would be adorable in our nursery.

How far along? 22 weeks

How big is baby? About 11.5 inches long- this week's fruit size comparison is a Papaya (what is up with all the random, unusual fruits?). The pregnancy websites vary in what they estimate her weight is - anywhere from about 3/4 to 1 full pound of baby. One interesting fact: a baby's hair is pure white at this point in their development- the pigment that will ultimately determine their hair color won't develop for another couple of weeks.

Weight gain? I am now up a total of 7.8 lbs, which is almost a 2 lb gain from last week! This week I had my first random stranger comments about being pregnant. One guy at the gas station called out 'congratulations!' and asked if it was a boy or a girl. Another guy at a convenience store joked that it looked like I needed to go on a diet. Real funny, dude. One of my girlfriends remarked that only a guy would be brave enough to comment at this point in a pregnancy. Women tend to be a bit more careful, in the event that in lieu of pregnancy I just carry extra weight out front, or maybe just gave birth a few months ago. You just never know.

22 week belly

Food cravings/aversions? Baked goods taste like pure heaven to me. I'm not going overboard with them, but oh are they dee-lish. I just devoured an afternoon piece of coffee cake- perhaps there *is* a correlation between this delight in baked goods and the almost 2 lb swing in weight this week?

Sleep? Great! I think the nightly Magnesium is really helping across the board- with migraines, constipation, AND sleep.

Symptoms? Still occasional round ligament pain that needs time to stretch out when I get up from sitting. I've also had a strange mix of feeling a bit congested coupled with really dry nasal passages, leading to some mild bloody noses. I've noticed (sorry for TMI!) my nipples are also starting to darken a bit, which I've heard happens in pregnancy as an evolutionary means to help the baby more easily find its food source. Amazing stuff.

Most looking forward to? Hopefully a relaxing pool day tomorrow! I've been working so hard I am hoping to unwind a bit, and water + sunshine is a sure fire formula for me toward total relaxation.

I am also excited for my first official appointment with my new clinic this Tuesday- Nurture OBGYN. I'll get to have a brief look at Baby Girl again by ultrasound, which is always a treat!

20 Week Updates (and Nursery Furniture!)

Babycakes and I had a lovely evening celebrating our 4th anniversary. We had an incredible meal at the Driskill Grill in our beloved Driskill Hotel- complete with a fancy congratulatory dessert. We then spent the evening watching our wedding video- put together by the fabulous Rings and Cake company. Having a videographer was a last minute addition to our wedding planning & budget, and one that initially BC wasn't so sure about. Turns out it was the BEST investment we could have made, as we savor the tradition of watching the video every year on our anniversary.

Anniversary dinner shot. 

The "girls" were out on display- they are definitely filling out clothes better these days!

Our nursery furniture was delivered today! Everything but the rocker & ottoman came. It is amazing how a room that once seemed huge now seems TINY with all of this stuff. I had hoped to keep our futon in the room for nights when I had to crash there, but now I am seriously reconsidering that. I could always snooze in the rocker....

Here are the "before" shots of the room:

And here are the "after" shots:

Dear Futon, you've served this room well- but I think I see you getting booted to the 3rd floor in the VERY near future.....

Here's a shot of the fabric & design of the chair we ordered from the Little Castle company (through Buy Buy Baby). I LOVE it- and it was half the price of the Pottery Barn model I liked! It will also take up quite a bit of room.

On to my 20 week updates- halfway through this pregnancy!

How far along? 20 weeks today

How big is baby? She is compared to the size of a banana this week, and is really developing her taste buds. She samples everything I eat or drink (she *might* have tasted some sips of champagne last night), and apparently my tastes now can/will influence her preferences later.

Weight gain? I was up 5.5 lbs this morning! I think our baby girl is going through a growth spurt. I've also had two huge dinners the last couple of nights, and (sounding like a broken record here)... not much is coming out again.

This is only 4 days after my 19 week picture (that one was taken late)- but I do think I am really starting to pop out more!

Sleep? Starting to get a little more challenging. I am trying hard to stop sleeping on my back, so brought in a couple body pillows to snuggle with on my side. I am most comfortable on my left side (which thankfully is the side that is best for pregnant ladies to be on)- but staying there all.night.long can definitely put kinks on my system (see hip issues below).

Food cravings/aversions? Nothing too interesting this week.

Symptoms? The worst this week is a pretty bad tugging/tightness across my right hip down through the groin. It happens mostly when I get up from sitting at my desk, and makes it hard to walk for a little while until I can shake & stretch it back out. I also got a migraine at my prenatal yoga class yesterday (yes- I've been going back to prenatal yoga! Happily have found a couple teachers I really like.) The class I went to yesterday was held in a room with frosted glass windows, and b/c the teacher stood in front of the windows while demonstrating it was a really perfect recipe to trigger my headache.

Most looking forward to? Starting to put together decorations for the nursery! Now that the main furniture pieces are in place, it will be much easier to design the rest. The walls of the nursery are a pale creamy yellow, and I envision white curtains, a white rug, and small tasteful accents of pink and sage green in a kind of french/nature theme (I totally made that blend up). I actually have a Pinterest board where I've been keeping nursery decor ideas (link here). I started it before we knew it was a girl, through it has always bent toward the girly (couldn't shake that intuition!)

19 Week Updates

I'm a bit behind on my weekly updates. Work has found me extremely busy- and I am welcoming the distraction with open arms. I have about 4 months left to build up our "baby fund" to have some time off with our sweet little one, so I need to rock n roll while I can!

How far along? 19 weeks

How big is baby? Weighing in around 1/2 lb, the baby is now about 6-8 inches long.

Weight gain? Up 3.5 lbs

Actually a 19w3d bump... definitely starting to pop out a bit more!

Sleep? My 'witching hours' returned for a few nights- where I wake around 3am with my mind racing & am then up for at least an hour trying to settle back to sleep. This usually corresponds to my work schedule, as there are a lot of to-do's crammed in my brain that seem to want to be addressed in the middle of the night.

Symptoms? I think the migraines are finally starting to get under control. I began talking a natural magnesium powder before bed each night, and (knocking on wood) haven't had a migraine in a week. The magnesium also has the added side effect of easing up the constipation. Woot!

I've been having tightness around my right hip- where the round ligament is. If I sit too long and then stand, it takes a while to stretch and ease into standing straight again. I've also been having some lower back tightness.

The coolest thing this week? On Monday night, at 19w2 days- I felt actual, undeniable kicks going on!! They are always just to the right and a little below my belly button. They'll come in little waves- several "pop pop pops" within 30 seconds before it is quiet again. On Tuesday I felt them 3 distinct times throughout the day. It is amazing, and I am so excited to know they will only increase. I can't WAIT for BC to be able to feel these too- when I laid his hand on the stomach the other night all was calm, and he surmised he had a relaxing effect on the baby. Last night I also had my first experience of actually seeing my skin "pop" out a bit where a kick was! Love, love, love it.

Food cravings/aversions? This week sautéed spinach is tasting amazing to me. I am still not hip on chicken (haven't been this entire pregnancy)- but this baby does appreciate a fine steak. : )

Most looking forward to? The delivery of nursery furniture this weekend! Seems early, I know... and was kind of a fluke. I went into Buy Buy Baby last week with the intention of ordering the set we loved, which I was told could take 9-12 weeks to come in. Low and behold the floor models were on sale and available for a huge discount, so I seized the opportunity to save money and the crib, dresser, & hutch will be arriving Saturday.

I also can't wait to share with all of you what we are having! We actually found out last Thursday and surprised my family with the news over the weekend. Stay tuned for my next post which will share the happy news.... we'll see whose predictions were right!

18 Weeks: A Visit to the ER & a Psychic Fair

My 18 week milestone started off with a bang today with a visit to the Emergency Room.

This past week I have had several mornings in a row where upon waking- before using the restroom- I've had a small amount of clear fluid leak out of me. Odorless, watery.... I had assumed it was urine. This morning in a comparison smell test (gross, I know) I put a drop of urine on my finger and it had a very distinct urine odor- unlike the fluid that has been leaking out.

I immediately started googling things like "does amniotic fluid periodically leak in pregnancy?" and proceeded to completely freak.myself.out. Any amniotic fluid leaks are BAD news, and something to see a doctor about immediately. Of course it was Saturday, so after talking to my on-call nurse the only option was the ER. There went my pre-natal yoga plans!

Upon arrival to the hospital, I was grateful to be seen quickly. The nurse immediately found the baby's heartbeat (a calm 144-145- at least the little one wasn't all worked up!) and told us the on-call doctor would be in shortly. No one seemed alarmed, which was good. The doctor checked my cervix (closed tight & long- hooray!) and did a PH test on my vaginal fluid. It came back negative for amniotic fluid- there was a slight abnormality on another test but it was most likely due to the fact that BC and I had had some sexy time last night (awesome timing, as it turns out... making the tests more complicated and each speculum probe a lot more painful!). No infections were found, and the doctor surmised the fluid was likely either very watery vaginal discharge or urine. She said it is very uncommon to have amniotic fluid leak this early- and if it did, it is usually on/off throughout the day, not just in the morning. I was so grateful for the peace of mind from the visit, and will now be nicknamed "Leaky Lambert."

The most hilarious part? On my discharge paperwork, they noted my "Chief Complaint" as Pregnancy. Ha!

Later this afternoon I geeked out and attended a metaphysical Psychic fair, hoping to have a reading done. I found a woman I'd had a brief phone session with months ago and she set out to focus on connecting to the baby. Some interesting tidbits that came up:

*She definitely got female energy- said that doesn't necessarily mean it is a girl, but that there was indeed a lot of female energy around this little one.

*This little one is a very old soul, and very happy to finally be able to come through!

*BC is going to be extremely close to this child- it will take him by surprise how immediately and fully he feels this connection.

*The little one was concerned with coming too early due to medical folks saying it was necessary- something to do with my blood sugar/pancreas. The psychic advised it would be good to continue acupuncture & energy work toward balancing this out.

*The babe is preferring a gentle, calm natural birth. S***. That was definitely not my plan!! It's true I got a strong vibe/intuition the DAY this little one was conceived that he/she was waiting to come in naturally (and did), so this news didn't surprise me. But it does throw me a bit off kilter, as I have been pretty sure I'm going to want an epidural. I am committed to remaining open and starting to research birthing centers & midwives, then following my own intuition from there.

*I asked about work/finances after the baby comes, as this is an ongoing discussion with BC & I, and something I struggle to find clarity with. My gut tells me I am going to want to be home with this babe full time for awhile after he/she comes, which means saving as much money as possible now and having to cut back on many expenses after the birth. The Psychic said she doesn't have any red flags about finances for us- and does see some sort of part time work coming in for me around the time the babe is 6 months, though exactly what that was isn't clear. She saw me surrounded by children (not my own)- so something possibly in that field? We shall see!

Now onto the 18 week updates:

How far along? 18 weeks today

How big is baby? The baby is now the size of a sweet potato, measuring roughly 5.6 inches & weighing 6.7 ounces. He/she is going through a rapid growth period, and it's weight will increase by 6x in the next four weeks! That should definitely affect my belly's ever expanding girth. The unique fingerprints are also developing this week.

Weight gain? Fluctuates between 2.5lb-3lbs. The ER nurse asked me for my weight when I checked in today. I told her my scale at home was reading between 110.5-111, and joked that probably meant 115 on the doctor's scale. She smirked and said "I'm going to record 115 just because I"m jealous." While I appreciated her humor, I didn't appreciate the 115 notation.

18 Week Belly

Sleep? I've been having crazy "Lifetime Movie of the Week" type dreams- linear tales that have a very clear beginning, middle, end & drama around them... often about characters that aren't even a part of my real life. 

Symptoms? The migraines are still taunting me- I've had maybe 5-6 in the past week and a half. The on-call doctor today said she was OK with the niacin + tylenol combo I've been successfully using, which made me feel a lot better (my regular OB was OK with this as well). I feel so guilty every time I have to take anything! Apparently these specific pregnancy weeks (from about 16-20) are known for an uptick in headaches- so hopefully those will calm down soon. This week's leaking was my other fun new symptom! 

Food cravings/aversions? I haven't had too big of an appetite this week- not sure why. The needing to eat within 30-60 minutes of waking remains, and I've been loving watermelon- though I wouldn't call it an all out 'craving.' 

Maternity clothes? I think I finally have a pretty solid collection of dresses & stretchy skirts that will help get me through the hot summer. I can also still wear my stretchy waisted capri jeans- so between those & the skirts/dresses I should be set for awhile.

Most looking forward to? Starting to feel movement! Every once in a blue moon I *think* I might feel a little tap or swish, but absolutely nothing consistent or conclusive. The babe is obviously in there with a strong heartbeat- I like to believe he/she is just a very calm, Zen little soul. I can hope, right? 

14 Weeks

How far along? 14 weeks

How big is baby? The baby is now about the size of a peach- about 3.42 inches, and weighing close to 1.52 ounces. A fine layer of hair called "lanugo" is starting to form and protect the baby's skin. He/she is now relying upon the placenta and umbilical cord to nourish it, and is practicing inhaling and exhaling amniotic fluid.

Total weight gain: This morning's weigh in showed a .8 increase from my base, so down a little from last week. I think this is entirely based on what I am eating + what is/isn't (ahem) coming out of me. I've actually had an amazing week of being a bit more "regular!" 

 BC asked me this morning how I could possibly only have gained .8 of a pound when my belly is getting so big? He surmised maybe it was due to losing some muscle weight. To which I replied "so you think I'm getting FLABBY?" He stopped surmising right there and then, which was definitely a smart choice.

I thought it would be fun to start recording how far along I am on notes (and yes, the sticky pad note is a tad dorky). Didn't anticipate the challenges of a mirror reflection! May have to corral BC for future shoots.

Sleep: Still good- trying to get in a 20-30 minute catnap each day when able.

Food cravings: I continue to love mango. It is like Christmas if I can find it already cut up and packaged at the store- otherwise I roll my sleeves up and do my best to hack into fresh ones (those suckers are slippery and HARD to prepare).

I also salivate every time I hear the word pancakes. Mmmmmm pancakes.

Food aversions: Nothing notable

Symptoms? I've had a few 'exciting' new things develop this past week. One was headaches. There have been several days where I get an achy headache that starts in my shoulders, emanates up my neck, and finally rests in my temples. It will taunt me until at last fall asleep at night, often with one hand nudged in a fist beneath my neck. I also awoke in the middle of the night this week to flashing migraine lights- the first I've had in awhile (and sadly there wasn't even any hanky panky preceding said migraine).

Another really strange thing that has happened is what feels like a pulled butt muscle on my left side. I really haven't been doing any strenuous exercise- mostly brisk walks, yoga, and some leg/glute strengthening. There also wasn't a moment or a discrete event that "pulled" this muscle- it just seemed to start hurting out of nowhere. My curiosity had me googling "pulled butt muscle in pregnancy" (seriously) and that led me to discover "pelvic girdle pain." During pregnancy a woman's body releases a chemical called relaxin that softens the ligaments around the pelvic area in preparation for birth. Because of this softening the pelvis is no longer in a locked position and more prone to injury resulting in swelling or pain. Sweet. Why oh why is NOW the time my beloved chiropractor decides to go to Hawaii for 2 weeks to get married?


I've forgot to mention another strange thing that has plagued me since early on in pregnancy- my right armpit itches all.the.time. I have no idea what that is about, and why it is concentrated to one side? I have also been more sensitive to earrings- they bother me & itch much more quickly than they did pre-pregnancy.

My nausea is still mostly reserved for the mornings, and pounces on me suddenly about 30 minutes after I wake up. It is a 'must eat something NOW' kind of feeling. One of my pregnancy phone apps said of 14 weeks: "If you are still feeling nausea from time to time, you may be one of the few women who experience it throughout pregnancy." Super sweet.

Most looking forward to: Planning a "Babymoon" trip with BC hopefully in August. My desire for a Mexican beach vacation got vetoed, so now we are thinking about a week in New Mexico (hey, it's still a version of 'Mexico!'). August is a fantastic time to get out of Austin's raging heat- and going to either water or the mountains sounds lovely to me.


***I also think I might have felt some 'flutterings' last night for the first time! After I laid down in bed, I felt some gentle gurgling like movement on my lower right side. I don't really ever feel food related energy down there, so paid extra attention. With this gentle fluttery gurgling feeling were a couple little 'pops'- which I imagined might be tiny feet or hands poking as the baby moved? Who knows if it was really anything, but it was super fun to imagine it might be the little one dancing around in there.***

Injectables, Round 2

Today marks day #6 on this month's injectables cycle. I am experiencing (and remembering from last round) Gonal-F's side effects, to include:

*Feeling extremely short tempered & impatient the first few days on the hormones (which was super awesome last Friday night when BC was also in a bad mood. We opted to cut date night short, lest we end up at each others' throats).

*A substantial appetite increase. Gotta feed those growing follicles!

*Using the restroom a lot more frequently, but sadly, not for, AHEM, regularity. Those follies are pushing on my bladder while also stopping me up (I know, TMI, but at this point, Dear Readers, what else would you expect?)

*Very mild heat flashes

*Great energy levels- than goodness for something positive!

*Migraines. I woke up with one Sunday morning that taunted me throughout the day, and yesterday evening before dinner it came back full force. 

*Bloating: my lower abdomen feels like it is stuffed with grapefruit. I feel so heavy down there, which made yesterday's Pilates class extra challenging, and possibly the last for awhile (9-10 months?!).

I saw Dr. Vaughn for my Follicle Roll Call yesterday, and I am on almost the exact same trajectory as my last injectables cycle. Oddly enough, Trideca-Mom over here again has 13 lead follies jockeying toward The Great Release of 2012!

Day #4 Roll Call:

Right Ovary (in mm): 10,8,7,7,6,6,5

Left Ovary: 11.10,9,7,7,6

I feel ya, buddy

Dr. V thinks we'll likely trigger over the weekend toward IUI's early next week. If there is one thing I do really appreciate about these injectables cycles, it's how quickly they move along. I also appreciate that  Dr. V is spacing out my blood draws/visits every four days instead of 3 (given we now have a bit of history to know how my body responds)- which hopefully will amount to one less blood draw overall. 

The next check in is Friday to find out when The Great Release of 2012 will occur. Go Baby Lambies, go!