One Cyst, Two Cysts, Red Face, Blue Fists

Man oh man am I getting tired of sad days.

I actually did have a "sunnier" day yesterday- figuratively AND literally (the joys of living in Austin!). BC and I had late afternoon queso and margaritas at one of my happy places- Guero's. I was giving myself the weekend to be off my much stricter "no drinking/no caffeine" regime, and Guero's fit the bill perfectly.

It looks like I may have awhile to stay and play on the "now I can drink again" regime.

I saw Dr. Vaughn today with the full intention of wanting to start another injectables cycle tonight (the 3rd time is ALWAYS a charm, right?). My ovaries, however, had a different idea. Not only did I have a big 'ole cyst on my right ovary (the one that worked oh so hard last month- but gave me nada)- but the left side decided to follow suit and also produce her own cyst. Awesome. Two cysts = definitely no injectables for me this cycle. There will be no November baby coming this year, that much is certain.

Unfortunately April's cycle is likely out for us as well, given BC just booked a much needed work trip to Mexico (which of course looks to fall JUST when I'd be fertile. No December babies for us either).

So now what? Possibly another laparoscopic surgery. Like soon. I am having Dr V's office look into the costs to go ahead and get Franny out- figuring if we are out for the count for one, maybe two months anyway, it might not be a bad idea to get this surgery over with. It would be a requirement before being able to consider IVF, so having it done will open up those doors to us. This is also the surgery that will guarantee any future Baby Lamberts will have to be born via cesarean section. Although obviously not ideal, I am OK with that. The only part I genuinely don't like about that option is the whole choosing your baby's birthdate- seems to take some of the magic out of it.

We are renting out our house for Austin's SXSW festival from March 9-20th, and will be staying in a small B&B cottage in Wimberley on 35 acres (with the cats! If they only knew what was coming). Timing wise, this might just be the perfect environment to rest & recover, celebrating Franny's eviction from my body. My plan would be to schedule surgery the week before we left for the cottage, so I'd be in my own bed for the worst of the recovery, and hopefully be somewhat mobile once we got to Wimberley.

This fertility stuff is EXHAUSTING. Maybe it isn't such a bad idea to have a couple months off, though the thought of having to wait months before trying again really bums me out. I am not the most patient person, so 2 months of waiting feels like FOREVER. This is where that "trust" stuff comes in. To persevere, I have to trust that there is a greater plan; that all of these efforts are part of the story we'll someday tell our children. It's so, so hard.

Hoping someday I'll be a yellow fish too